25 Years Too Late...

25 Years Too Late...

Monday, 31 August 1987

Girls, Girls, Girls


BLACKPOOL!!! Records: MOTLEY CRUE + ASF.  Pleasure Beach.  Lotsa fun.  Willy-babbered in hotel bar.

 

Later:

 

‘Clap Clap Song’ – The Klaxons



 

Early in the day, Flash and I went down to VIRGIN and we both bought ‘Girls, Girls, Girls’ by Motley Crue – partly due to last night, but the Crue are ace, of course…


…although not as good as my beautiful Alien Sex Fiend.  Yes.  Now collecting all their discs, I purchased the ‘R.I.P.’ 12-inch. 


Great!!!

 

More trips to the P.B., as well as the Zoo. 


Yo-Ho-Ho!  What fun. 


We also visited the Tower. 


Down at the P. B. we had jolly japes abounding.  The Pirate Ship was the worst P.B. ride, in that I nearly came out of it.  The Revolution was the 2nd best ride.  The River Caves were pretty.

 

ADD:  Bazzer + Milly + Edie Atkins – ACE FOLKS!

 



 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.  Never forget: no man is an island.  If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1  July  2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘Farewell, Blackpool…’

Sunday, 30 August 1987

Vix and Sally


‘242 Foxtrot (The Learjet Song)’ – The Byrds



 

BLACKPOOL!!!


Tussauds, Tower, Pleasure Beach.  Vix + Sally – desire.  Lost ‘em.  They were Glam Rockers (ooh!  Lust!  Etc)!  Depression…

 

Later:

 

‘Whole Lotta Love’ – Led Zeppelin



 

Today was rather sad, in my reckoning.  Whilst queuing for The Space Invader, Flash and I spied two ‘goths’ about four people in front of us (well, they looked like Goths at first).  We really wanted sit in their car on The Space Invader, and, after a change of the four-in-front’s plans, we did.  Before the ride started, we got chatting to these two ‘goths’ who had turned out to be black-clad ‘glam-rockers’ by the names of Vix and Sally. 

 

Vix was beautiful.  I have to say that.  She just was.  Well, to look at, I mean.  I mean, I didn’t get to know her or Sally too well at all.  Y’see we tagged along with ‘em, but they left us on the Grand National after a while.  Flash and I got depressed.  We had lost our chance at mates…

 



 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.  Never forget: no man is an island.  If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1  July  2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘Girls, girls, girls…’

Saturday, 29 August 1987

Blackpool!


‘Raise Your Hands to Rock’ – Motley Crue



 



Tussauds.  Pleasure Beach.  SPACE INVADER – ace!!

 

Later:

 

‘Eight Miles High’ – The Byrds



 

Yes.  Blackpool was reached at last.

 

Flash, his gran – Edie – and I were taken to Wakefield by their Derek.  In Wakefield, we got the National Express to Blackpool.

 

The proprietors of the MILBARRY Boarding House – Milly + Bazzer – were, at first, taken aback by our rather ‘gothic’ appearance, but I think they got to accept us.

 

We dossed around Blackpool, taped a bit and then had our meal.  After this, we went to Louis Tussauds…


…and down to the Pleasure Beach, which was ace.

 

BEST RIDE: The Space Invader.


 

Flash and I wanted so much to meet some people – preferably Goths or Punks, and ideally gurls.  Alas, we did not!

 



 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.  Never forget: no man is an island.  If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1  July  2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘Vix and Sally…’

Friday, 28 August 1987

Am I Freetenin' Thee?


‘Achilles Last Stand’ – Led Zeppelin



 

“I’M FUCKING NACKERED!”

 


Flash gave me some old Marvel Comics (including issues of The Eternals and Black Panther by Jack ‘King’ Kirby). 


We also saw to some preliminary BTC/Situation taping.  Eventually, we set out to Airedale in Castleford, to visit my Gran + Granddad Winterfood.  Who was the bus driver?  Uncle Norman!  Shock!!!  Horror!!!  Nice to see thee, Norman.  Very nice.

 

 

Went to Gran Winterfood’s.  There, I was barraged with a load of gay.  My Gran Sugden (grandmother Hattie Winterfood’s mum) had a go at my hair, as did Gran Winterfood.  Saw Aunty Lou + Unle Kev!  They were the only ones who were nice to me.  Granddad was schtum, but he was probably thinking the same as my Gran!  We were told of how we’d probably get brayed in Blackpool and a lot of other trash.  We then went home to Flash’s!  Thanks, Kev!

 

 
 
‘WHAT’S UP, FLASH?  THAZ NOT SAYIN’ NOWT.  AM I FREETENIN’ THEE?’

 



 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.  Never forget: no man is an island.  If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1  July  2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘Blackpool!’

Thursday, 27 August 1987

Massive Diary Sesh


My No.1: ‘Can’t Stop Smokin’’ – Alien Sex Fiend



 

I reached Flash’s at about 12am and we made a cup of tea (when don’t we?!).



In fact, we didn’t get to bed.  All we did was sit up in the living room of GORDON VILLAS and read each other’s diaries, dated betwixt April and August.  This took us till about 7am, after which we did the usual MORBIUS and JEZ dozing. 

 
 

There was a lot of record listening and Doctor Who discussion.

 

Later:

 

‘What Is And What Should Never Be’ – Led Zeppelin



 

I’m having a good time at Flash’s.  Eddie came down and he was nice.  Got willy-babbered.  Saw Arundel.

 



 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.  Never forget: no man is an island.  If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1  July  2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘Am I freetenin’ thee?’

Wednesday, 26 August 1987

To Flash's


Approx 9pm.

 

‘Secrets’ – Fields of the Nephilim

 

 

ARGH-YUZ!  PHWADYADEAHR?

 

It’s nice here, innit, mates?  Where am I? Would you dare ask me where I am?  Eh?  Eh?  Eh?

 

Okay, then.  I’ll tell you!  I’M NOT WHERE I WAS WHEN I STARTED THIS ENTRY! 

 

YO-HO-HO!  Gadd staff, eh? 

 

Well.  When I started, I was in Peterboro’ train station.  I am now on the Train.  Gadd, eh?  Eh?  Eh?

 

Y’see, work dragged on, I got piss-soaking wet, and by the time I’d got ready, it was too late to go to Norwich.  So Freddie says, ‘D’ya wanna go to Ponty tonite?’

 

‘YEYASS!’ I exclaimed.

 

And here I am.  On a train to Doncaster.  Flash knows I’m on my way, but will I be able to get to Ponty from Donny?  Will there be buses?  ACH!  BABBER!  What if there aren’t any?  SHAYTE!  POO!  BABA!

 


 

OFF WE GO, MATES!

ON TO MORBIUS KRAAL/FLASH’S HOUSE…

 

(better give this bloke across from me his pen back!)

 

‘Power’ – Fields of the Nephilim



 

I’LL TRY THIS AGAIN:

Hi.  My name is Jez or Ritcherd.  Whatever you will.  Call me DORIS if it makes you feel calmer.  I’m 17 years old and I’m hard core. 

 

My favourite groups are:

SISTERS OF MERCY, ALIEN SEX FIEND, BAUHAUS, THE SPECIMEN, SEX GANG CHILDREN, GHOST DANCE and FIELDS OF THE NEPHILIM.  In no particular order.  I like other stuff, too, in varying degrees.

 

I’m spotty, ugly and mad.  My hair has a life of it’s own and at the moment I’ve fallen out with it.

 

I suppose I’m: interesting, sort of charming and warm-hearted to the RIGHT people, quite ‘schizo’ but also positive.

 

TO BE CONTINUED

P.S. I get bored easily…

 

Later:

 

‘I Can’t Stand It’ – Crass



 

Out of Time…

 

BOOGAROO!

 

It’s 11.13pm.  I’m at Donny station and – FYEYAHRSE.  I done missed t’bus.  Yo-da!  My

Granddad Winterfood is pickin’ me up.  So. 

 

BLADDY GADD!

 

I just rang Flash.  What a wag.  Yo-Ho-Ho!  Ya-Do!

 

Later:

 

So, today, a hallowed day, I set off for Flash’s.  I got the train at about 8pm and realised, when I reached Doncaster, that I had missed the last bus to Pontefract.  So my Grandfather – Eric Winterfood – had to come and collect me.  Very good of him, really.  This was, in fact, the first occasion on which I wore my Patchouli oil.  A damn fine smell, I can tell ye! 

 



 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.  Never forget: no man is an island.  If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1  July  2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘Massive diary sesh…’

Tuesday, 25 August 1987

Sherrep


10.19pm

(In the New Purple Bedroom).

 

‘Sex Beat’ – Sex Beat



 

Whaddyadair live in England when it’s doing an impression of Lake Superior?  Hey?  Hey?

 

Blackpool soon.  One more working day to go.

 

Naomi rang tonite and all and sundry (inc. BUGS and old mate Tony Pope) want me to go to Marco’s first DISCLOSURE dyskoh at SAMANTHA’S tomorrow nite.  So do I!  So I’m hoping we can finish work before 6pm tomorrow, my last day. 

 

Oh.  I can’t wait to get to Flash’s.  Now to continue packing my bag and tidying my room!

 

“ReVenge

                         OF THE

                        CoWBoY GotHS

ALL

        MAD ON BOURBON”

 

‘The Tower’ – Fields of the Nephilim



 

Oh no.  Something largely resembling the Atlantic Ocean is garking the fark out of the clouds and boogarising our ‘ooh-so-luverly-I’m-sure’ East Anglian ‘country’ ‘side’.

 

SHERREP’ said Berwin.

 



 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.  Never forget: no man is an island.  If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1  July  2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘To Flash…’

Monday, 24 August 1987

Eleven Years From Now: 24/08/98


Eleven years into the future…

 

‘In Our Angelhood’ – The Cocteau Twins



 

Went out to London with Nicole, the German girl who’s working at the restaurant for the summer.  I don’t know her too well, but it was all quite successful.

 

 

We went to the NAT. HIST. MUS. which was of extreme importance to me, especially as last night – stoned (despite best intentions) – I watched a documentary about the MASS EXTINCTION of 65million years ago.

 

Christ: 4 or 5 major MASS EXTINCTIONS in Earth’s 4, 560 million year history.

 

Man is a random nothing, an anomaly.  Life on other world, if it were even remotely likely, would be totally different; no chance of similar development.  Makes the Islamist world versus the US (post the Embassy bombings) so very trivial.

 

Shit, we’re so fucked up.

 

Even the Earth is an accident of accreted dust.  All meaning is meaningless.  Everything is an accident, a coincidence.  Imposing tunnel vision on this stuff just sucks.

 

Oh, fuck it.

 

Still, in spite of the meaninglessness, Nicole and I ate in CHIQUITO’S and chilled out in Covent Garden.  She’s nice and we had lots of good conversation.

 

Saw lots of books I’d like, especially THE SECOND MESSIAH.

 




(I bought LEONARD COHEN’s biography.  Maybe it will inspire me out of the encroaching madness…)

 

I need a woman, to love me.

 



 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.  Never forget: no man is an island.  If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1  July  2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘Going to stay with Flash…’

Sunday, 23 August 1987

Babber 1987


Hello.  It’s about 11.25am.

 

‘Cannibal Queen’ – Sex Gang Children



 

I smell of Patchouli oil.

 

My diary is a bit of a wreck lately, isn’t it, folks?  Sorry.  But after this I’ll tidy it up, so:

 

BABBER!

FAMOUS MONStERS OF FILMLAND ARE GO!

 

BTC

ritcherd

 

A skull wearing shades and sporting a mohecan explodes with ectoplasm…

 

FAMOUS

MONStERS

OF

F I L M L A N D

 

Another, jawless, skull grows an astonishing moustache in order to hide his facial deficiencies…

 

Another shade wearing, mohecan-ed skull squirts ectoplasm from its nasal cavity…

 

The bats are flying and the webs have been spun…

 

IT’S TIME TO GO HOME, KIDS!

 

Later:

Approx 3.30pm.

 

‘Times Of Our Lives’ – Sex Gang Children



 

I am now on the bus.  We’ve just arrived at King’s Lynn.  Next stop – WISBECH!

 

It’s been another odd weekend, but d’you know what I’m really looking forward to?

BLACKPOOL

 

Anyway, I go now.  See you’s later, olraeght, eh?

 

Jezticu-LAHDOOO!

 



 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.  Never forget: no man is an island.  If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1  July  2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘1998…’

Saturday, 22 August 1987

Bell Nights


‘Heart Full Of Soul’ – Ghost Dance



 

AW!

SHATE!

 

It’s the early hours o’ Saturday morning.  I can’t wrait very well.  I’ve scalded me me fuckin’ hand.

 

SHATE!

AAAH!  It hurts!

BABA!

Fuck

 

Later:

 

Hello.  It’s about 12.30pm.

 

‘Here She Comes’ – Alien Sex Fiend



 

Ghostly eyes of fire…

 


 

I’m at Naomi’s and I can write again now. 

 

I got here last night on the shaty gay bus, which broke down.  I went to The Bell and saw Nicki, Marco, Holly and lotso others.  I got here (Naomi’s) late last nite.

 

I hope we see Roger in Norwich today.

 

Now I go and get some food from Ye Shoppe…

 

Later:

 

So what’s been happening then, folks?!

 

Tonight, I pulled myself together and reasserted my love for Naomi the Gnome, flinging myself totally in love with her.  She and I went into Norwich.  We dossed around until we bumped into Jason Hertford (remember him?  The 14-year-old we met on the nite she asked me out?  Yeah?).  Jason was with his gurlfreund Ingrid.  It was quite surprising that we all recognised each other after such a long time.  They came around with us for a while – a long while actually – and we doo-essed for a bit.

 

‘Sebastiane’ – Sex Gang Children



 

In LIZARD, I bought ‘Beasts’ 12-inch by Sex Gang Children


…and in BACKS, I bought ‘Power’ 12-inch by Fields Of The Nephilim.


 
I also bought some assorted Chinese jos-sticks, inc. MUSK and ORANGE.  Oh, heaven!  Erm.  Oh shit!  I also bought some PATCHOULI ESSENCE.  Yo do!  Yo do!  Yo do!

 

Then we bumped into PeteFlash’s pal from Naomi’s party – and his girlfriend Francesca.  We all swapped loads of addresses and stuff and they all went home, except Jason who came to a cafĂ© with us and then to The Bell.

 

‘Sense of Elation’ – Sex Gang Children



 

In The Bell, I wanted to see Roger and Gillian, but they didn’t turn up.  I sat with Naomi + Jason, and Johnny Gunn came over and we all had a raight laugh.  Johnny and I got on fucking well good.  He’s a great bloke!  Traci and Bugs came in, but went just as quickly.  Then Nyall joined us.  He’d come to Norwich in the afternoon with Roger, Gillian and his girlfriend Claudia.  Nyall’s odd.  I can’t pin him down at all.  I like him and I don’t.  Get me?  No?  Oh well.  Fuck it!  Why pursue the subject?  We got on fairly well this time.  For a change.  I think we are becoming better friends.

 

Then we all went and rang Flash again.  It was good, and all seem to agree that cos he’s from Leeds and he’s got a deep voice he’s gore-juice.

 

After this I saw Nyall, Claudia, the newly arrived Rowan, Roger + Gillian (who wouldn’t go in The Bell) off.

 

Back in The Bell, I got chatting to a guy called William and his girlfriend Tracy.  We all dossed off, well WAZMODIC down to The Red Lion.  I chatted to loadsa others down there, notably Leighton (we chatted for ages, he’s a nice kid) and Tony.

 

Then we came home and I died.

 



 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.  Never forget: no man is an island.  If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1  July  2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘Babber…’