Naomi Acceleration

‘Wildest Dreams’ – Bill Nelson

Gosh.  Sorry I haven’t been around much, kiddies!  Soz!  Soz, me old mairtz!  Well, as you’ve probably noticed, it’s been shit anyway, so I wouldn’t fuss too much if I was you.  Today was pretty dull, too.  Y’see, there was a Romeo and Juliet rehearsal at the Angles Theatre today, but at least I saw Stan Flowers and Danny Oliver.  By the way, I was in the paper, in the R and J cast list.  Fame.  Again!

When I got home, my family was out.  When they finally came in, Betty informed me I’d had a call from Naomi.  So I rang Naomi, and Alex’s finished with her.  She’s pretty well cut up and felt she could only confide in me about it.  It happened last nite, in the BELL.  He was pissed and she was pissed.  Alex told her she was doing his head in and that he couldn’t hack it and wanted to stop seeing her.  She went wild and begged him to stay, but to no avail.  In a kind of confusion, she lost her bag, which had all her money in, plus her make-up, hairspray, diary and two letters: one of which was a 25-pager addressed to me.  It also included a card she’d written for me during a flood of emotion on her behalf.

‘Eight Miles High’ – The Byrds

When she’d received my letter, she read it on the bus and kept saying ‘oh god!’, etc, out loud, cos of my emotional outburst, etc.  She thought it was great and is really flattered.  She loves attention, which is okay, cos I love giving it.  Most other gurls tell you to fuck off if you give ‘em attention.  I’ve got to write to her again, then she can answer BOTH my letters.  Hope she gets her bag back.  If not, I hope some half-decent finder posts my letter…

I rang Flash and he was ace.  Eddie, him, me, Simon and Nigel all love each other.  Flash’s not sure what he is now.  I’d say he was the same as me: a gothic punk.  Probably.  I can’t wait till fuckin’ Blackpool, anyway.

By the way, Freddie gave me £3.99 for the Kung Fu slippers, so I can buy the Neph album.  Life IS Bliss after all!

WHAT RITCHERD IS UP TO IN 1986

WHAT RITCHERD IS UP TO IN 1985

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

NEXT TIME: ‘Keeping you up to date…’

Avoiding Astra

‘Kill Surf City’ – The Jesus and Mary Chain

Today wasn’t too ace.  I decided to venture into Wisbech for the first time in ages.  The weather was sunny and I liked it.  I dossed around and went in Oxfam where the woman behind the counter expressed her concern at not having seen me for a while.  She’s really sweet.  And later, I decided to look for the Fields of the Nephilim album, but it was to be found nowhere.  I then decided to by Alien Sex Fiend’s It album…

…but, instead, ended up buying a pair of black ‘Kung Fu’ slippers, for £3.99.  The soles are white (ugh!), but I shall paint them black.

I saw Hazel and Astra, and shit myself, cos Astra’s lent me this scarf, y’see, an’ I’ve ripped it!  I’ve got to give her it back on Monday.  She’ll bray me in!

WHAT RITCHERD IS UP TO IN 1986

WHAT RITCHERD IS UP TO IN 1985

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

NEXT TIME: ‘Acceleration…’

I'm Not Mad

‘I’m Not Mad’ – Alien Sex Fiend

ITEMS IN THE NEWS:                    

A civilian aircraft has landed, initially undetected, in Red Square, USSR!  Outrage!

Are The Beatles reforming?  Rumours are more rife than ever…

Today was another working day, mates.  I heard Claudia Brücken of Propaganda’s new single on the radio. 

I thought it was good. 

I made a total of £25 at the yard this week.  I kept six of it and put the rest away for Blackpool.

I received a well grooveh letter from Flash, which dealt mainly with the fact that I’ve got to send a £10 deposit for the Blackpool holz!

I am worried though, that Naomi Bell hasn’t sent me a letter.  I am worried that she may have felt my letter was too strong, too overpowering in content.  I can safely say – in what sense, I’m not sure, but I say it safely – I love her.  Just for what she is, I suppose: a wonderful person.

Later:

‘Severina (Aqua-Marina Mix)’ – The Mission

I think I have totally purged myself of BMW.  For now, at least.  The excess of reading and writing and thinking about her did what I intended it should do; it purged my body of her ghost.

Tonight, I am relishing in turning to the spiritual aspects of my life.  I have listened to my bell chimes and read up on astral projection, Yin and Yang, and Kundalini.  I have lit my jos sticks and am listening to ‘Severina’.  I feel that suddenly there’s something actually valuable in listening to it.  And I can safely say: I am a really stable guy.

WHAT RITCHERD IS UP TO IN 1986

WHAT RITCHERD IS UP TO IN 1985

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

NEXT TIME: ‘Avoiding Astra…’

What I Want

My No.1: ‘Ignore the Machine’ – Alien Sex Fiend

BMW.  Well.  I suppose you’re all bored of her, so I won’t talk about her today.

Hey!  Flash and Eddie got arrested last week, by the way, for prowling in Dodo’s back yard or something.  I’m not sure of the details…

WHAT I WANT AT THE MO’:

1)       REAL love (well, realer than before) 2) SEX 3) a new Alien Sex Fiend 12-inch.

WHAT RITCHERD IS UP TO IN 1986

WHAT RITCHERD IS UP TO IN 1985

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

NEXT TIME: ‘Stable guy…’

Bits

‘Girl at the End of My Gun’ – Alien Sex Fiend

Don’t worry, dear reader, that there’s not much of an entry for today.  I assure you, it was fucking shit.  All I did was work in that bastard crap yard.

BITS OF NAOMI LETTER:

‘my real name … ah …

why am I called Jez?  I w

after a long stint of calling

boring to go into, I decided

on GENE LOVES JEZEBEL … why

Because it is Ritcherd Winterfood … crap, eh?

‘Ha-Ha-Ha!’ says Naomi’s voice…

ANYWAY.  Pretend you never read that!

Naomi, you’ve GOT to tell me your full opinion and feelings

for me, so I can understand

don’t hardly know what we’re talking about.

I LOVE YOU LIKE I LOVE OXYGEN

Write back – THIS VERY SECOND!

All my love, hugs, juicy bits,

sloppies, sex and othersuch perverse phrases

Jezebel

XXX

        XX

        X

X – that was another sloppy one, especially for you. 

Generous, eh?

when I started writing this

THE NEPHILIM in Cambridge

day after my birthday.  Jealous?

I know what to get you for your birthday

Goodbye…

Jez loves you

isn’t my name shit?’

WHAT RITCHERD IS UP TO IN 1986

WHAT RITCHERD IS UP TO IN 1985

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

NEXT TIME: ‘What I want…’

Resurrected Pain

‘The Murder of Love’ – Propaganda

The smells, the sweet smells are POISON and ORANGE BLOSSOM.

That’s it.  I’ve read my 1985 and 1986 diaries.  But I had to do it.  If nothing, it’s almost helping me get her out of my system.  The fuck is it!  She’s in my heart.  Bigger than ever.  Tattooed on my soul.

I’m listening to Propaganda again, cos it reminds me of when BMW and I met.  I need Propaganda right now.  They are support.  All the people who should be supporting me live miles away.

I’m happy, though.  Only mildly depressed.  It’s hot.  I worked at the Yard today.  I took something to read in my lunch hour today: The Making of Doctor Who by Terrance Dicks and Malcolm Hulke. 

If I’m going to be working down there more often, I think that I might start re-reading some of my old Doctor Who books…

‘Sweetest Jezebel’ – Gene Loves Jezebel

Posted a letter to Naomi, telling her that which is true.  The fact that, in an irregular sense, I love her and she is one of the biggest people in my life at the moment.

My thoughts of BMW are peppered with thoughts of Naomi, who I am slowly falling in love with via these letters that traverse over 60 miles…

Emotionally, these people figure most:

5) Nigel Prince

4) Simon Nightingale

3) Danyel ‘Flash’ Gordon

2) Naomi Bell

1) B M Wasp

Don’t worry, Flash!  You’re still my best mate!

Flash wrote to me.  He likes Simon and Nigel.  Eddie liked us.  I like Eddie – he’s a larf! 

Me and Flash are off to Blackpool in August.  Good, eh?!  Eh?!  YAHRSE…

WHAT RITCHERD IS UP TO IN 1986

WHAT RITCHERD IS UP TO IN 1985

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

NEXT TIME: ‘Bits…’

Grains of Golden Sand

12.05am.

‘Dream Within a Dream’ – Propaganda

BMW, I love you.  Still.

Miranda, I’ll never stop loving you.

That beautiful August, almost two years ago.  A smart pair of young lads living in a caravan.  The sounds were diverse: Propaganda, Kate Bush and Sex Pistols.  Stars were watched as the two boys lay on the hot, but cooling ground.  Stars were named after two girls: Miranda and Sue.  Miranda’s library card.  ‘What does the ‘B’ stand for?’  That house.  Derelict and bare.  When Make-Up and Sue had gone, Ritcherd and Miranda remained.  The kisses.  The plans.  The weeks without contact.  The mistakes made by Ritcherd .  Then the resurrection of communication.  Trips to the Cinema.  The Failed Sabbath.  The parties.  The ice finally broken thanks to a Grammar School production.  But still there was a betrayal of love on both sides.  Schizophrenia in Ritcherd’s split mind.  The pressure that led to the end of a relationship.  The yearning.  The reunion.  More love at the fayre and in the Cinema.  The Yorkshire trip.  The phone call.  Wiggy.  Mark.  The letter.  And still, Ritcherd loves her… 

‘Boys Don’t Cry’ – The Cure

I AM MILDLY DEPRESSED.  BUT NOT TOTALLY.  ONLY SOME OF THE 182 EMOTIONS THAT I SHARED WITH ONE MIRANDA WASP ARE IN PAIN.  YOU SEE, ANOTHER SIDE OF ME IS HAPPY…

I’ve just had a phone call, all the way from Norwich. 

Guess who it was? 

Yes!  It was Naomi ‘why are you so far away’ Bell. 

She rang for a chat, and that’s just what we did.  We chatted about music, what happened between NICKI and I, and the time Naomi and I spent in THE BELL.  She told me that I can take my friends to her party on 24^th July, but it may be risky as Alex will be there – and people might talk about our 4-hour romance.  She’s just had an argument with Alex.  This is all due to his lack of lack of previous romantic affairs with gurlies.  How come?  At Alex’s house, Naomi was trying to show her feelings for him, but he shrugged them off (just like I used to with BMW), so she stormed off home.  She doesn’t know what to do now.  She says that she and I are perfect for each other.  We only knew each other for four hours, but we are both emotional, intelligent people who live on the same wavelength.  How ironic that we should live so far away, and she is there with a man who cannot show emotion, whilst I lament a wasted love.  I will write to Naomi.  Naomi is beautiful. 

BMW is the past.  So why can’t I accept that?

Another BMW session develops…

WHAT RITCHERD IS UP TO IN 1986

WHAT RITCHERD IS UP TO IN 1985

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

NEXT TIME: ‘Resurrected pain…’

Check It Out, Guys!

Approx 12.30am.

‘Li’l Devil’ – The Cult

Hello!  Welcome to the latest in my life!  WOOOOOOO!  An update, yeah?  Okay! 

‘Check it out, guys!’ said Nigel Prince.

Later:

11.59pm.

‘A New Career in a New Town’ – David Bowie

Sunday’s nearly over. 

I love Flash, Naomi, Simon and Miranda (BMW).

I could get really hung up.  And I will.  I suppose…

All I did today was mix a BTC tape further.  Oh well.  Goodnight.

WHAT RITCHERD IS UP TO IN 1986

WHAT RITCHERDIS UP TO IN 1985

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

NEXT TIME: ‘Resurrected pain…’

Ignore the Machine

‘Ignore the Machine’ – Alien Sex Fiend

More from

JEZ

in

THE RATHER SENTIMENTAL, NOSTALGIC, LOVE-LORN DIARIES OF THE RIGHT AMAHZING Ritcherd  ‘JEZ’ VINTNERFODD IN THIS

YEAR OF THE HARE

‘182 EMOTIONS … DEAD?’

BLANK GENERATION

Gemini…

‘Gothic…?’

Resurrected Pain.

A crucifix bursting with white liquid… 

alien

sex

fiend

‘Repetition’ – David Bowie

Today was shit.  I stayed in and mixed a new BTC cassette.

Hello.  My names are Jez and Ritcherd.  I am nearly 17 years old. 

My favourite groups are Gene Loves Jezebel, Alien Sex Fiend, The Zodiac Motel, Sisters Of Mercy and Fields Of The Nephilim.

I am rather insane, not altogether ugly, of great interest, and very positive and ‘together’.  My best mate is Flash Gordon.  He, too, is of interest.  He used to be Gothic, but is now converting himself into a hard-core Punk.  He wants to be a weirdo, but he already is.  So am I, but I’d rather be known as ‘a Goth’ than just a shit guy who is weird for the sake of it.  That was no slur on Flash, by the way.  AND GOTHS ARE NOT ‘PANSIES’!!

AND NOW, MY OTHER ‘BEST’ MATES: Simon Nightingale, Naomi Bell, Nigel Prince and no one else, really…

I hope you are all enjoying my diary, crap-mates.

All my love

Jez

XX

X

‘Sexcrime’ – Eurythmics

BY THE GAYBOY:  I wonder how many crimes I’ve committed?  Erm… ONE … TWO … THREE … FOUR …FIVE … all to do with sex, drugs, oh!  SIX!  All to do with sex, drugs and … sex, drugs and drink, I suppose … oh!  SEVEN!!!  I can’t tell you what they are … well … no … it’s six, really … things such as underage sex; sexual acts with under age girls, erm … shoplifting … erm … taking drugs … smoking under age … drinking under age, etc…

OH, AS WELL AS THAT:  [Birthdays are bloody irritating, aren’t they? – Future Jez]

AFORE YE GO: [Flash’s envelope is per-itty fat… - Future Jez]

ON TOP O’ THAT LOT: [I bet I get done o’er in Norwich … How Nice! – Future Jez]

AND FINALLY: [Norwich was a fucking good laugh! – Future Jez]

WHAT RITCHERD IS UP TO IN 1986

WHAT RITCHERD IS UP TO IN 1985

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

NEXT TIME: ‘Check it out, guys…’

Sheffield

‘Man Inside My Mouth’ – The Cure

One of the ace days of the year, it was!

Once I got into Tech, I walked to Gaywood, where Nigel and Simon picked me up in the pissing down rain and we set off for Sheffield.  The journey was long, but it was okay.

In Sheffield, Nigel went off to the Polytechnic interview, while Simon and I dossed around.  We went in a few record shops and I bought ‘Ignore the Machine’ 12-inch by Alien Sex Fiend. 

It’s ferookin’ ace!  We tried to determine the sex of certain gothics (hoping some of them would molest us), got attacked by a Buddhist (to whom I donated 30 pence) and ate some nosh.  We then found Nigel and, after some kids on a bus took the piss out of us, headed for Flash’s house.

We arrived at Flash’s at approx 5pm.  I went in and there he was – with a haircut and his mate Eddie.  He told me he’d writ to me, and I concluded that the letter must have arrived after I’d set off this morning.  I introduced Flash ‘n’ Eddie (who’s a good lad) to Simon and Nigel.  We then all drove to my Dad’s.  He wasn’t in, so we called on Flash’s gran.  She wasn’t in.  We went to my Gran Winterfood’s.  She wasn’t in!  So we returned to Flash’s and recorded a BTC Dr Huge adventure, enjoying ourselves immensely.

Alas, we had to return home and left Flash’s at 7.30pm, swigging cider quite happily.  We drove home listening to The Sisters and The Nephilim.  Nigel and Simon liked Flash and Eddie.  I hope Flash and Eddie liked Simon and Nigel…

I got home at about 10.30pm and read the letter Flash had sent me.

He’s a bit pissed off.  That’s because Amanda Jones and Joanne Layne are best mates now.  What a SHYTE, eh?!  He’s also been forbidden by his mum to ever meet Julie, his dad’s lass. 

GOLLY GOSH!!

He explained what he can do with his hair now it’s cut (I approve!); he’s into Crass, GBH, Exploited and Partisans; he hates the J+MC and GLJ, but thinks The Sisters and ASF are okay; he wants to be a punk and thinks Goths are pansies (I disagree!); (but good things abound!) he hates being classed as ‘alternative’ (as I do, also – makes me think of Soup Dragons + Railway Children fans!).

I am glad we are branching out in different directions.  It’s a good thing.  It means we can influence each other and at the same time, hopefully, appreciate each other’s music tastes.

‘It’s Called A Heart’ – Depeche Mode

He wrote to BM Wasp, just asking her to talk to me, and she replied.  She said she didn’t want to sound like a bitch, but a lot of water has passed under the bridge since we split up.  She loved me once but even then she knew it wouldn’t last.  She is happy not to be in touch with me in case it adversely affected any new relationships she might have.  She bears no antagonism towards me, but would not go out of the way to make contact with me.  She says I messed her about, and that Wiggy did, too.  She points out that Wiggy is not obsessed with her.  She has been going out with Flash for almost a year and they intend to get engaged soon.  She talked the matter over with Mark who agreed it was fair to write back to Flash and explain her position: she loves Mark more than she’s loved anyone else.  She asks Flash not to write again and asks him to help me get over her.

So.  I don’t know how I feel now.  I suppose I still love her in much the same way as I always have.  And I am very relieved that she doesn’t despise me.  That matters, to me.  Also, I feel no resentment or anger towards either Mark Dalton or Wiggy.  I wish Mark and Miranda all the very best, in fact.  It’s a shame I’ve lost.

I could get depressed, actually… 

WHAT RITCHERD IS UP TO IN 1986

WHAT RITCHERD IS UP TO IN 1991

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

NEXT TIME: ‘Ignore the machine…’