25 Years Too Late...

25 Years Too Late...

Tuesday, 31 March 1987

Up Queens Road

‘Nagasaki Nightmare’ – Crass




At Tech, working on The Caucasian Chalk Circle with Sasha:



Sasha:                   

RITCHERD IS AS UGLY AS A WOMAN WITH A PERM AND PIG NOSTRILS! 
I’M A NYMPHO!



Jez:                       

So am I.



Sasha:                   

So is Ritcherd.



Jez:                        

This play is Boring.



Sasha:                   

BORING



Jez:                        

Jez WOZ ‘ERE x



What would be the advantage of using a Jacobean style stage for a production of The Revenger’s Tragedy?



Later:



‘The Crystal Ocean’ – The Mission




I’m wearing more and more ripped clothes.  Favourite rip: the one in the crutch of my black canvas jeans.



At Tech, rehearsals on The Caucasian Chalk Circle continued.  And later on, I began to doss in the common room.  Gillian MundenSonia’s friend – came in and sat with me.  I told her that I more or less fancy Sonia and she told me that she (Gillian) is more or less head o’er heels with Roger!  Roger was away today, so he doesn’t know yet.  An 18-year-old virgin, I think she wants Roger to be THE ONE!



So.  On April 1, Roger will be face to face with a girl who is mad on him.  Ho-ho-ho!



Sonia arrived and we three dossed around shaight King’s Lynn



Back at Tech, Gillian told us of the desire she feels for Roger.  I commented that I knew the feeling well, and buggered off to the lavvy.  When I got back, they’d been talking about me.  I could tell.



At 2pm, Sonia had to leave, so I walked her millions of miles up Queens Road, where she was to be picked up.  On the way, she asked me who my desire was for, which really ruined everything, cos I wanted to ask her out.  After a while and some nudging, I took the opportunity to tell her it was for her.  She didn’t seem too fussed, so I was feeling very embarrassed now, but she lent me her big black and gold bangle to wear till tomorrow.  But I didn’t ask her out.



Arriving back at Tech, I spoke to Gillian, who told me I should have asked Sonia out. 



Now I think Sonia DOES want to go out with me. 



I think!



Life is a jarpe!



Rehearsals at TRIANGLIA went well.







[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]



NEXT TIME: ‘Fools…’

Monday, 30 March 1987

Andromedan Alternatives

7.25am.



‘Safety Net’ – The Shop Assistants




Better say all this fast, cos I’m off to Tech in a bit.  Yesterday was awful.  Or was it?  I’m not sure, really…



Later:

8.07pm.



‘The Temple Of Love’ – The Sisters Of Mercy




What a treat this song is!  It is excellent, isn’t it?



HELLO!



You wanna hear today’s ‘info’?



‘Yeyass,’ says the Rest of the Universe.



I’m still not sure what I think about the Dodo news…



I feel very used and foolish, but I’m glad Flash was able to say ‘I told you so’.  It serves me right.  All the mental hassle.  For nothing…



Thank you, Dodo.  Together we screwed up the best friendship in the Universe, and now you walk away from the destruction unscathed.  Satisfied?  How does it work for you?  Once the dust settles and you can do no more damage do you just walk off and leave?  I don’t understand.  Did you just realise you couldn’t do any more to hurt Flash or tear us up any further?  If that’s true, then you can just piss off!



I feel abused.



At least I’ve still got Flash.  The one I really want.  The BEST of the two.  And I know I’m more than lucky to have him still.  Still, the pain…  



Today, at Tech, Roger, Solomon, Holly Blue (Solomon’s girlfriend), Morticia (Bianca White) and I went up town.



Hey, I’m on a disco ticket!  Libby’s been giving out flyers for the Andromeda Alternative disco at LA’s night club and the picture on the flyer is a photo of me! 



It must be a picture Libby took of me at a disco somewhere, but it’s me with my hair as high as you like in my shades and the usual gear looking pretty cool it has to be said.  And I say that because it took me a while to realise it was me!  In fact, someone had to point it out to me!  But there I am, poster boy for an alternative disco that will feature music by: The Cult, The Cure, The Smiths, Jesus & Mary Chain, The Mission, The Sisters of Mercy, Fields of The Nephilim, plus many more!



(Tickets only £2 adv. from Andy’s and Bayes’.  Extra charge of £1 after 11pm.  Management reserve the right to refuse admission.  Over 18s only.  9pm – 2am.)



On the way back from town, I bumped into Sonia and spent the rest of the day with her.  She’s ace.  An Eldritch/Sisters/Deutschland fan.  And we now know practically everything there is to know about each other (so far).  We are seeing each other tomorrow.  I can’t wait.  I think I rather fancy her like hell.



Oh no!  It looks like another Sadie Woolf Situation…



I know it’s so soon after Dodo, but as I haven’t seen Dodo for about a month, I’m not so upset about meeting someone else.  But I did get rather angry tonite…



Oh well…



Roll on, tomorrow.







[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]



NEXT TIME: ‘Up Queens Road…’

Sunday, 29 March 1987

A Jolly Day for Dodos

MOTHER’S DAY 87



‘The Passenger’ – Siouxsie and the Banshees




Wow!  How exciting, eh?  Eh? 



Startin’?  Are you?  Eh?  Eh?  C’mon, then!



Look…  Come on…  Take yer all on…



Go on, then…  Try it, pal…



Aw!  Yer not worth the effort!



It’s fairly early ‘n’ I’ve just crimpt me hair.  It’s fooking ess.  Shame I’m not off nowhere.  How come it only goes ‘fooking ess’ when you’re not goin’ anywhere?



Later:



‘Youth of Nation on Fire’ – Bill Nelson





Stan came round today and chatted about Sonia with me (he knows her).  I wonder, why is everyone so concerned as to whether I’ve met her or not?




I gave Stan my autographed ‘Stay With Me’ 12-inch by The Mission and my Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence LP by Ryuichi Sakamoto (almost 1 year since I purchased it), in exchange for two GLJ 12-inches on white label.  I’m chaffed wi’ em…







Later:

11.45pm, approx.



‘With or Without You’ – U2




What a jolly day it’s been, eh, readers?  I didn’t write about it at the time, cos I couldn’t be arsed, but…  I awoke today and gave Betty her card ‘n’ presents and she told me Flash had rung earlier on, when I was in bed.



‘Ooh!’ I thought.  ‘This is all a bit bleedin’ previous…’



He rang back eventually.  And he sounded rather tense as he reported to me that Dodo was going to ‘finish’ with me and wanted no more to do with me…



I’ll tell you the rest later…



Later:



‘Sickle Moon’ – X-Mal Deutschland




You wanna know the rest?



Well.  Flash told me that he ‘n’ Dodo were at the same party in Ackworth the other night.  Eventually, Dodo started getting’ off with other lads…  Flash got angry with her cos of her continuing treachery, but she told him she wanted no more to do with him.  Or me. 



Flash left early as he was raeght pissed, and so doesn’t know what happened subsequently, but he says she should be sending me a letter confirming this news.  He says I’m a stupid bastard, which hurts, but it’s probably true.  He did warn me, but I wouldn’t listen…



He thinks she’s ‘a slag’, but he still loves her.  She probably knows that he does.



So…



As I take it, me and Dodo are o’er.  Done with.



And Flash thinks I’m a STUPID BASTARD!!



I don’t know what to think…







[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]



NEXT TIME: ‘Andromedan alternatives…’

Saturday, 28 March 1987

Escaping

‘Magic Roundabout Theme’ – Alain Legrand 




widgie head smythe…



Berwin Groomstool ploughs the brown exercise book fields beyond domed gotham city where the giant bats fly. 



A long-legged starling, dick a-swingin’, lurches across the field in brand-new heels, propelled by fart power.



Ritcherd continues his lust for life … or should that be ‘death’?



Faint

And someone does.  SWOON!  BANG!



Later:



‘Never Take Me Alive’ – Spear of Destiny




YEAR OF THE

RABBIT?



How cute is the little fella, with his big floppy ears and cutesome tail?



SHOOT

THE

FUKKA!



BitinG

the

CARROt

THAT is

LIFE…



BANDS?

Fuzzbox, The Cult, Cocteau Twins, Bowie, Getting The Fear, The Cure, Alien Sex Fiend, Sisters Of Mercy, Siouxsie And The Banshees, Jesus And Mary Chain, David Sylvian, Japan, Gene Loves Jezebel, Bill Nelson, Sputnik, The Mission, Love And Rockets, Shop Assistants.



Later:



‘Wanted Dead or Alive’ – Bon Jovi






Fuck you all!



YEAR OF THE HARE






Featuring Ritcherd  Winterfood



(Some Chinese characters…)



‘goodbye, Dodo…’



Jesus is Jezebel is Anarcho…



I’m tied to a giant crucifix, in my black jacket and stripy purple shirt.  My jeans are ripped and I look a bit stiff.  A giant can of BOOTS HAIR SPRAY kinks its way towards me and SQUiRT!s the hair into position.


There are squishy turds at my feet.

They might be mine.
No.  They’re not turds of shit.
They are turds of blood and chemicals, dripping from the arms of the crucifix.



Jezebel: and i really do exist…

no joke…



gemini…







Later:



‘Temple of Love’ – The Sisters of Mercy




Happy Birthday, Annie Winterfood.  Sorry I ain’t sent your card yet, but it’ll get there soon.  I hope.



Why is the 12-inch of ‘Temple Of Love’ so excellent?  Why are The Sisters so great, eh?  Definitely the record of today.



In town, I bought, as follows:



Mother’s Day cards from Jack and I, chocolates, a birthday card for Annie, two exercise books. 



And I collected a BR coat from Lucille’s shop for Luggage.




BEST BUY today was a sale from the antique’s shop.  They were selling old 7-inches for 25p each.  So I purchased a Bill Nelson doublepack.  It contains: ‘Youth of Nation On Fire’, ‘Be My Dynamo’, ‘Rooms With Brittle Views’ and ‘All My Wives Were Iron’.  As I said yesterday, I’m not as big a fan of his as I was last year, but it had to be bought for 25p.  Mind you, ‘Youth of Nation On Fire’ is very good…



I’ve thus far acquired about 19 new disques in 1987.  Yo-ho-ho!




I dossed for a bit with Hazel, Lizzie and Astra.  And we spotted Tim ‘the goth’ Green and I thought, ‘What a twat!’  I asked Hazel what she meant about Flash being ‘a little further round the corner’.  She said it means ‘insane’, basically…



Hazel and I passed BMW.  Hazel said ‘I hate you’, to BMW’s face.  But I was consumed by a strange unrequieted love, especially when we saw her with Mark (who has got a face like a gorilla’s arse’s arse).



‘All Day Long’ – The Shop Assistants




I am now at home.


‘How jolly,’ you all cry.



I do not.



The phone is a-ringing.  Is it for me? I ask myself…



YES!



Later:



‘Anything’ – The Damned




It was.  It was Stan, and what a bastard he is.  He only rang up to tell me he’d been given a Love and Rockets record and a white label GLJ 12-inch.  What a bastard!!!  But I’m not jealous.  As long as it wasn’t a Sisters record.  Mind you… It was GLJ… Oh no!







[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]



NEXT TIME: ‘A jolly day…’

Friday, 27 March 1987

Sonia King

‘Day In, Day Out’ – David Bowie









Tech has been okay.  I met a girl called Sonia King in college (slim, dark haired, beautiful eyes in a BMW kind of way).  I think she is really nice and we have a common interest: The Sisters of Mercy.  She is an Eldritch fan.  Fuckin’ ess.  She’s Phoebe’s mate!


Erm…Been chatting to Bianca White an’ her maets, with Roger.  Me and Roger are also in the process o’ writin’ to two girls in Surrey who want pen pals.  They were in Smash Hits, so we’re sendin’ a photo wi’ the letter.  Good, eh?  eh?  eh?  eh?




Yeah, I bought Smash Hits because Wayne Hussey was on the cover and there’s a big Mission article in there.  There’s a bit on Bowie, too – and an interview with Margaret Thatcher (!).




Flash’s written/wrote/wraited at me.  I’ll read it latah.



‘Sometimes’ – Erasure




I’d just like to say… Even tho’ I’ve been listening to Erasure + David Bowie, it doesn’t mean I’m mad about ‘em as groups or artists; it’s just that I like one or two of their records at the mo’. 



My official top groups, in order of love, are as thus:



The Sisters of Mercy


Gene Loves Jezebel


Alien Sex Fiend


The Jesus and Mary Chain






But that’s only for now!



How about worst groups?  Well, there’s lotsa shit groups, i.e. Madonna, Level 42, etc.  And what about groups I’ve liked that I now think are ‘shite’?  The Cult, The SmithsJapan aren’t too ace, either.  Sylvian is crap.  Nelson’s a doss.  I’ll probably change me mind in half an hour, though.



God!  The Sisters sound is ace.  Y’see, I’m in love with drum machines.  God knows why!



‘Looking Back’ – Shop Assistants




Flash’s letter:

By March 24, Flash was v. bored. 



By March 25, my letter had arrived at his home.  He apologised for all the ‘finish with Dodo’ stuff.  I thank him dearly.  Taz means nothing to him compared to me.  I am his best mate and I’m honoured that he considers me to be such.  I am proud to be his.  Apparently my Dad knows about what happened between Flash and I.  Flash no longer seems to be fussed about me ‘n’ Dodo.  I’m glad, cos I don’t want him to be upset. 



By Thursday 26, another letter must’ve arrived.  Or something.  He wants to come down here for Rag Week in October to join in the talent contest, wherein he, Roger, Nyall, Plastic Nick ‘n’ Pot Noodle will be ‘jammin’’.  Dodo wrote to him, which cheered him up.  He’s not at all bothered about Wales; he just doesn’t wanna miss his mates.  He hates Erasure.  Well.  SO DO I!  GOOD, EH?!  It’s just that their ‘latest piece o’ shate’ gave me confidence.



By the way, last week Sonia told me she had been talking to a Wisbech Goth I don’t know especially well – although I have said hello to him when I’ve been out with Hazel (she knows him) – and he apparently thinks I’m a TWAT.  I told Flash this, and he goes on to talk about it in his letter.  He says I have to tell Tim he is in fact the twat, and that if he doesn’t love me, then the Leeds Goths are going to nack him.  Yo-Ho-Ho! 



So Flash is bright.  Therefore, so am I.  He’s so fuckin beautteh!  I’ll be seein’ him in 2 weeks, hopefully.  Oh, Groovers ‘n’ stuff!



The Magic Roundabouts has disintegrated, along with my friendship with Nyall.  Our rivalry has begun anew, and it is almost as if we have become enemies.



Aladdin Sane and Scaroth of the Jagaroth – live on stage!





‘Newton invented punting…’



Give me shelter,

Shelter from my life…



All my love and Rockets,

Jezebel xxxxx







[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]



NEXT TIME: ‘Escaping…’

Thursday, 26 March 1987

Red Wine

My No.1: ‘Brand New Moon’ – Gene Loves Jezebel




So!  Fook Yoh!  Tech was crepe again, but I ain’t been depressed.  Roger is nice, but he was away and Saskia was a cow to me.



Last nite, Pot Noodle and David Brown went to see X-Mal Deutschland at Norwich – and met them.  Pot gave the singer his autograph.  Good, eh?




I may be off to see Alien Sex Fiend next week at Edinburgh!  Well, I’ve been invited, but it’s very doubtful that such an event will materialise with me present…



Kevin brought some red wine in today.  Fooked me in!  Strong Starf!!!



I chatted with Phoebe (BMW’s friend) today…







[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]



NEXT TIME: ‘Sonia King…’