25 Years Too Late...

25 Years Too Late...

Saturday, 30 November 1985

Miranda's Party

‘Kick In The Eye’ – Bauhaus


I awoke bright and early (11.15am or so) and played more Propaganda.

I spent two hours in the bathroom, teaching my body to work properly. It’s learning.

Jazz rang to report that Cheggers couldn’t meet with Dave and ourselves in WH Smith’s at 3pm, but would arrive at about 6pm. Jazz said he’d try and meet us at 3pm, but as he was depending on a lift from Cheggers’ mum, it’d probably be 6pm.

I arrived at WH Smith’s at 3.05pm, but of Dave or Jazz there was no sign. I waited 10 minutes to no avail, so I decided to wander around Wisbech. As I ponced by Tesco’s, I witnessed the aftermath of an accident: a woman in a puddle of blood, with a fair crowd around her.

[The page is stained with a smear of brown blood from Christmas Eve 1985 – Future Ritcherd]

‘Save A Prayer’ – Duran Duran


When I finally returned to WH Smith, I found Dave. I then saw Human Beatbox’s cousin (which reminded me that I had also invited Human Beatbox to the party), but he wasn’t too bothered to see me, which was disappointing.

I bought a Blancmange 7-inch (‘What’s Your Problem?’).


Dave bought a ZZ Top and a Cult 7-inch. We then went for a coffee in Tony's and chatted about girls. We agreed that it’s the girls you finished with you fancy the most…

‘Rule Britannia’ – Suzi Pinn


At 6pm, Cheggers’ mum’s car pulled up at WH Smith. We saw two silhouettes in the back. Jazz and Cheggers we presumed. But, no! It was Cheggers and Human Beatbox, with a small bottle of cider.

Where was Jazz?

We rang him and apparently he had rung my house for me and ended up making arrangements with my Mum. Jazz would catch a bus into Wisbech, which would arrive at 6.15pm. Mum would then pick him up, along with us.

We went and bought some booze, which left us with:

4 bottles of Strongbow (big)
1 bottle of Olde English (small)
4 cans of Harp


We returned to WH Smith, where Freddie picked us up at 6.10pm and drove us to the bus station where we waited for Jazz – whose bus got in at 6.45pm! The party was to start at 7pm, and Mum had cooked us all some nosh to eat before we left, so time was tight!

On returning to our bungalow, I changed clothes and we ate our Burgers and Chips. Then we set off for yon party…

'Single Life' – Cameo


When we arrived at Miranda’s house on North Brink, the place was almost empty, apart from seven girls, BMW (Miranda) and Phoebe included. And only Phoebe spoke to me!

We all grabbed a sofa in the corner (our new turf!) and Phoebe brought us all some punch, which tasted like orange squash. So we quickly moved onto the Harp and the Strongbow.

By now, BMW was talking to me, thank God. And she looked great.

Eventually, more boys arrived (among them afew that we knew, including Adam West and Tommy Edwards). We took over the record player and blared ‘Belsen Was A Gas’ about 10 times in a row – during which I almost passed out, falling and landing on the glass bottle I’d dropped at the same time. Luckily I didn’t get cut.


Dave got talking to a short, skinny, dark-haired girl called Anna, who got bored of him and moved onto Jazz (who is a short, skinny, dark-haired boy). She wanted to be fucked by him and said so. He agreed, but then she collapsed, pissed and unconscious! (She later puked all over BMW’s bed.)

Jazz and Dave then started talking to a girl called Sophie (who was really funny) and Cheggers chatted with Phoebe. Human Beatbox just drank, and ended up accidentally pouring beer all over the gas heater, permanently putting it out!

‘The Whole Of The Moon’ – The Water Boys


I went out into the vast, dark garden with BMW. We made up and kissed a lot.

Then the party got out of hand. A chair was broken, Human Beatbox smashed an ashtray to pieces, Jazz turned on the showers and to cap it all BMW’s mum found two underage people screwing in the bog. Following this, things were made to cool down, which they did and the party happily continued.

I was surprised to see Kirsty McDonald there. You might recall that I went out with her for 6 May days, shortly before Mum ‘disappeared’. She was with a boy called Jason who, quite coincidentally, BMW had once been out with. Kirsty nicely kept me abundantly supplied with cigarettes.

Human Beatbox found some more cider and gave me a few nice gulpfuls. Jazz found a bottle of Vermouth and I downed a quarter of it in one.

‘The Cutter’ – Echo and the Bunnymen


I chatted with a girl who could do a Yorkshire accent, chatted to Sophie, Eliza, Marianne, Noreen and Francesca – who gave me a kiss! I also had many chats with a girl who called me Burton, because of Ritcherd. As she was called Lou, I was permitted to address her as Bog Roll.

BMW and I eventually found a nice corner of the conservatory in which to be devilishly romantic…

OLD DIARY ENTRIES…

This time 6 years ago:

‘I got Doctor Who Weekly 8.’

This time 4 years ago:
‘Watched the repeat of Doctor Who: Logopolis (Part One)…

…and Blake’s 7: Gold


…which was really good.’

This time 2 years ago:

‘I got the brilliant Return of the Jedi Weekly 25.’

This time last year:
‘Today was school Speech Day! No Dave today and no Joey! But that didn’t stop the rest of us having a good time chucking water over each other in the Biology lab; the best moment being when a cupful aimed at Scott Nicholas hit Angelene Hawkins instead.’

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders / While based on true life events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the 1980s, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is also non-profit and all video clips are used for illustrative and contextual purposes / No copyright infringement is intended.]

Friday, 29 November 1985

Parties, Problems and Pleasures...

‘Overture’ – ABC


Last night, I had a dream about BMW’s bloody party, in which the police raided us!

That’s all that ever rests on my mind: BMW and her fucking party! I even asked Sally Naylor and Melba Dench to gatecrash it, but they can’t!

Joey can’t go now – he’s due elsewhere – and everything’s muddled up. I asked Legs to go, and he said ‘yes’, but an hour later he said ‘no’! Spastic fool!

Jazz, Cheggers and Dave will be there, though. Good, I need them.

What’ll happen at the party? The boys who BMW ‘went’ with will be there. Will they laugh in my face? Will a fight ensue? My life is a twat!

I’ve been working some of this stuff into a new Situation tape called Situation: Desperately Hopeless. It was supposed to be about sitting back with me (on cassette one: Alone With Ritcherd For A Bit)...
...and looking at life, and then listening to The Situation’s best stuff from 1985 (on cassette two: Nearly The Best Of…). It’s all turning into a bit of a failed attempt.

I also carried on with my Art and Biology Mocks today. God! I bet I come bottom in Biology.

‘They Say It's Gonna Rain’ – Kerry Delius


Tonight, I went to Peterborough and bought La Femme Accident by OMD and West End Girls by the amahzing Pet Shop Boys (both on 7-inch).


Later, we went to Jimmy’s pub. I stayed in the car, drinking lager and listening to Propaganda’s Wishful Thinking album.


On reaching home, I scoffed a pizza, played my new records and came to bed!

BIG DAY TOMORROW!

OLD DIARY ENTRIES…

This time 10 years ago:
‘I watched Doctor Who: The Android Invasion (Part Two).


This time 5 years ago:
‘I watched Doctor Who: State Of Decay (Part Two).


This time 2 years ago:
Birdy rang which was great. It was so good to hear from him – I’ve really missed having a friend like him. We chatted for a bit about Doctor Who: The Five Doctors

…which was brillus; and we agreed that it was the best one ever.’

This time last year:
‘Joey lent me his Spider-Man comics, which was good of him. Dave ate our dinner tickets, but fortunately we had no trouble getting a meal. Melba Dench’s mum always gives me extra big portions as well. We were visited by a bus-roving Christian Group called Christ For Kids. They were really great.

Letter passed in lesson between Ritcherd and Dave:

RITCHERD: Cooper, do you fancy Maxine?
DAVE: Who?
RITCHERD: The girl I asked you to run over to on Saturday.
DAVE: What?
RITCHERD: Well, she’s shortish, nice; I like her a lot and she always says hello to us in town.
DAVE: Help! I haven’t a clue.
RITCHERD: You lying bastard! Hey, Mandy bought me a Chaka Khan record the other day.

Tonight, I bought some comics: Peter Parker the Spectacular Spider-Man 98 and (the crap) Marvel Team-Up 149…

… and the outstandingly brilliant Amazing Spider-Man 260.


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders / While based on true life events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the 1980s, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is also non-profit and all video clips are used for illustrative and contextual purposes / No copyright infringement is intended.]

Thursday, 28 November 1985

Emotional Crisis

‘Threshold’ – Dead Can Dance


BILLY!

AND A PARTRIDGE IN A BEAR TREE.

This is definitely the week in which my Emotional Crisis began…

My No.1: ‘West End Girls’ – Pet Shop Boys


Last night I dreamt that Miranda would be unfaithful to me at her party – right in front of my eyes.

OLD DIARY ENTRIES…

This time last year:
‘Today I did my mock English Language O-Level. I’m not sure how well I did! I saw Mandy and it was a laugh! Tonight, I went babysitting for the kids of King Arthur patron (and so-called ‘village bike’) Tracey. I got three quid for it. Jest!’

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders / While based on true life events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the 1980s, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is also non-profit and all video clips are used for illustrative and contextual purposes / No copyright infringement is intended.]

Wednesday, 27 November 1985

The 1985 Booty Bag

‘New Rose’ – The Damned


Pick ‘n’ Mix:
John Lennon & Yoko Ono, The Cure, The Dazz Band, OMD, The King’s Demons, Howard Jones, twats, Midge Ure, Birdy, Nik Kershaw, Stan Flowers, Chaka Khan, Pontefract castle, Icicle Works, Splash!, Public Image Ltd, Manda Jones, Red Dawn, V, King, Igor Smegdoss, Laser 558, Jabba, Phil Oakey & Giorgio Moroder, Daleks, Glenn Gregory & Claudia Brucken, The Stranglers, Duran Duran, Japan, Alison Moyet, and ‘Yellow Submarine’.

Hi, chiddies! I have been working on some Situation cassettes for a new project entitled The 1985 Booty Bag, which will feature a number of cassettes and booklets full of oddments and sodments (all in a specially illustrated carrier bag), plus:
Uncle Poohbag's Book Of Jolly Nice Things To Shit
Christmas cards
Message
Plasters
Poppies
Fetherlite condoms
Some of it’s cacka, shite and grouse. But some of it is acker, fab, groovy and Jolly D! I wish I had a decent microphone, though.

Came across some of my old ‘novels’, too.

My favourite being a Star Wars book I wrote called Solo’s War, featuring a character called Woff-Bott!

I am also very into Dynasty.


‘Fly By Night’ – Paul Hardcastle


HOWEVER…
I am worried that my relationship with Beatrice Miranda Wasp is seriously on the rocks, and I’m annoyed with myself because it’s my fault. I’ve been so immature about the whole thing – like I’ve been in another world just lately – and I should have paid her more attention. As a result of my lethargy, she has let me know (with evident regret) that she ‘got off’ with two different boys (Wiggy and Reece). I don’t blame her, but I feel so sad about it and I feel sad that I’ve been unfaithful, too. I’m lucky to have such an attractive, intelligent, open and honest girlfriend. We've decided to stay together - on the condition that we'll both put more effort in, but it's all been wonderfully timed to coincide with her imminent party and I must admit that I really don't want - and won't be made - to look like a twat.

God! It’s time to shake off this image of the spotty freak with greasy hair. I’m fifteen, going on sixteen. I need to change who I am. I should be more sensitive, more artistic.

What is this sadness I feel inside me? Not just over BMW, but the past. All that stuff that happened to me as a kid – the sexual stuff with boys that I really didn’t want. And my family breaking up and falling apart so many times. I still don’t think I’m over what happened between Mum and George in May. I miss that life.

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders / While based on true life events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the 1980s, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is also non-profit and all video clips are used for illustrative and contextual purposes / No copyright infringement is intended.]

Tuesday, 26 November 1985

Welcome To...

‘Alive and Kicking’ – Simple Minds


WELCOME TO...

AN INVALID

A RETARD

A PILLOCK

IT’S

Ritcherd Winterfood!

(That’s big-round-nosed, unshaven, spotty, wispy-fringed, messy-haired Ritcherd Winterfood to his friends…)

A curly-headed, bug-eyed thing with a huge grey zit on the end of its nose…

I still really like Arcadia.


BOGEY! WOGEY! BOGEY!

Hey, I played a senile old man in Drama and my performance was so touching it had Astra Trellis in tears. Wow. Either I’m a brilliant actor or she’s dead soft. Or both.

OLD DIARY ENTRIES…

This time 8 years ago:
‘I watched Doctor Who: The Sun Makers (Part One).


This time 4 years ago:
‘Watched Doctor Who: The Three Doctors (Part Four)…

…I really enjoyed this one, but I don’t think Doctor Who used to be as good as it is now.’

This time last year:
Mandy didn’t talk to me at all yesterday, but after school, I rang her. She asked if she could go out with me. I said, YES! Of course. Naturally, Dave started his own betting scheme in an act of revenge, and Stan reckoned he’d screw her at Skating. I told him I’d kill him if he did, but thankfully he hasn’t carried out his strange threat. Anyway, Mandy and I have chatted quite a lot and kissed – loads of times – bloody shock! She’s very talkative. We’re just swell! Today, I went to King’s Lynn on the bus with her (and her sister). We went around the town and kissed. I bought the first issue of Captain Britain (brilliant)…

Mandy went into Bayes’ Records and bought me the Chaka Khan single

She wrote ‘Ritcherd, love Mandy’ on it. We had some photos taken in Boots. I really like her.’

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders / While based on true life events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the 1980s, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is also non-profit and all video clips are used for illustrative and contextual purposes / No copyright infringement is intended.]

Monday, 25 November 1985

Nine Years From Now: 25/11/94

NINE YEARS FROM NOW…
‘And so ends week one of Dolly Mixture rehearsals. Strange without Jonny, though.


This morning, I met the incredibly interesting Eva Hampton at St Albans station and we tubed to East Ham, full of conversation. Good conversation, the like of which I’ve not encountered for a while.

Work was busy, but it’s all been good.

I came back on the train with Eva. We said goodbye as she set off to get ready for a meal with some members of her company. I think she’s becoming a good friend.

Tonight, I bought Chinese, but ended up leaving it, my appetite gone.

Lili didn’t come home, which was unexpected and a very great shame. She’s up to something, and all I feel is emptiness.’


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

Sunday, 24 November 1985

Aston Bungalow

‘The War Song' – Culture Club


Life continues to be a combination of acker, fab, grouse and crook.

Like my dear friend Flash, I too am going to give up swearing.

Billy!

Pick ‘n’ Mix:
Kraftwerk, ‘Two Tribes’, 1984, ‘War’, Live Aid, ‘Army Dreamers’, Jabba the Ginner, Al Jolson, ‘World Destruction’, The King Arthur pub, Ronald Reagan, Raiders Of The Lost Ark, Mikhail Gorbachev, Igor Smegdoss, sex with dogs, Frankie Goes To Hollywood, weird sex dreams, Uncle Creepy, perversion, EastEnders, Thurston’s, Blodwen Codswallop, soggy nobs, Glenn Miller’s ‘In The Mood’, scrapbooks, Obadias Pittlesworth, poetry, Just Good Friends, Pickle’s sister, Orbree Mandrake, those girls in Wakefield that time (‘My mate wants to fuck you!’), Jeff Wayne’s War Of The Worlds LP, Fairburn, Cyril Fletcher, Elliot 'Elbow' Barlow, Bay City Rollers, De Gudbok, Cyril Smith, Jon Pertwee’s outsized head on a naked woman’s body, David Frost, permanent nose boils, Aston Bungalow, the Cambridge Diet, the Play School clock, Dudley Simpson, 'Shitshifters', Blake’s 7, Ethiopia, Alan Whicker, spanner in the works, The A-Team, the Geneva Talks, Return Of The Jedi LP, nuclear conflict, Stingray, Threads, That’s Life, The Day After, Miami Vice, and ‘19’.

I’m going for a cack now, chids.

This time 4 years ago:
‘Watched Doctor Who: The Three Doctors (Part Two)…

…Brilliant again.’

This time 2 years ago:
‘I watched Johnny Jarvis (Episode Three: 1979-1980) - this week Johnny got a girlfriend at Technical College. Brilliant.’

This time last year:
‘It turns out that Legs has been stirring about the Saturday me and Mandy got off with each other. I’m gonna do him in!’

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders / While based on true life events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the 1980s, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is also non-profit and all video clips are used for illustrative and contextual purposes / No copyright infringement is intended.]

Soggy, creepy love to Waen Shepherd , John Guilor and Jason Bell

Saturday, 23 November 1985

Boil In The Bag

'And Your Bird Can Sing' - The Beatles


It's Doctor Who’s 22nd Birthday!

And I LOVE boil-in-the-bag Beef Teriyaki.

OLD DIARY ENTRIES...

This time 7 years ago:
‘I got Star Wars Weekly 43.’


This time 6 years ago:

‘I got Doctor Who Weekly 7.’


This time 4 years ago:
‘Watched Doctor Who: The Three Doctors (Part One)…

…Brilliant.’

This time last year:
‘I got the excellent 2000AD 393 and this week's UK Spider-Man comic.’


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders / While based on true life events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the 1980s, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is also non-profit and all video clips are used for illustrative and contextual purposes / No copyright infringement is intended.]

Friday, 22 November 1985

Thirteen Years From Now: 22/11/98

THIRTEEN YEARS FROM NOW…
‘Still in MANCHESTAH!

Jenny and I went to see Ronin today. It was ace! I love Jean Reno (I saw Leon last week – SKILL!).

Afterwards she took me for a great Indian on a street full of Indian restaurants. We even took in our own booze. Brilliant.

I wish I didn’t feel so bloody complicated about Jenny. I love her company and I think she’s gorgeous, but I just can’t figure out what we mean to each other. I’ve been here for a couple of days now and we still haven’t taken the plunge and I know that it’s because she can tell I’m holding back.

Jenny and I are capable of brilliant sex, but I just don’t know where it will all lead. I want a relationship with her, that’s obvious, but I don’t think I’m quite ready yet, not this soon after Lili. I will be ready; I just need some time. But I think Jenny wants me to make the move and bring us both together – then again, I’m not sure. Does she just want the sexual workout? And I’d love to be having sex with her – I fancy her like hell, but I don’t want us to be simple fuck-buddies. If it’s going to work with Jenny, I want it to be because we’re going somewhere with it.

God, I’ve always adored Jenny, but I’ve never been able to figure her out and I’m not sure she can figure me out, either. It’s like we really want each other, but are almost too cool to express it to each other, too aloof. It’s ‘Girl Afraid’ all over again.

And right now, I’m sitting in her spare room bed, when I could be in her room, her bed, making love to her. That’s why I came to MANCHESTUH, for God’s sake, and I’m pretty sure that’s why she invited me. Last nite and tonite, I could have fucked her. It was obvious that she wanted me to – just like all those times before. I could have fucked Jenny Taylor (both ways). Just like before. I’ll never forget the last time I fucked her gorgeous arse – it was the best sex I ever had, believe me. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. And I’m here, now, turning that down! Am I mad? No, I want her, but I want more than to simply be her casual bit of rough now and again. It’s the gratuitousness that’s putting me off.

Oh, Jenny. I know I’ll regret this for the rest of my life, because right now there’s nothing more I would love to do in this entire world than make love to you and come in your arse. But should we be lovers, or fuck-buddies, or should we just get to work on this friendship of ours? If we can’t open up emotionally to each other, are we supposed to be just friends? I love you so much that sometimes, fucking your butt – however heavenly it sounds (and feels, believe me), just doesn’t seem right. I want to be the man who does that with you for a living. And I can’t be that man right now. One day soon. Very soon, I hope but not right now.

Jenny moves to AFRICA in February. Maybe that’s a good indicator that she doesn’t want me as much as I want her…

I do love you, Jenny, and maybe we need to be able to look at each other in the eyes as friends after all this, so maybe this abstinence is for the best.

Fuck.

We always end up coming together when I’m emotionally damaged. Just once I’d love to be ready for her, to be hers and hers alone. But it never happens that way, does it?

I’ve really got to stop fucking with myself, but this’ll come back and haunt me, I know it.’



[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

Thursday, 21 November 1985

Good Hearts and Happy Families

Britain’s No.1: ‘A Good Heart’ – Feargal Sharkey


The last Happy Families tonight...

...what a brilliant series that has been.

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders / While based on true life events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the 1980s, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is also non-profit and all video clips are used for illustrative and contextual purposes / No copyright infringement is intended.]

Wednesday, 20 November 1985

Six Years From Now: 20/11/91

SIX YEARS FROM NOW…
‘1. Astra Trellis came over and, as she’s a hairdressing type, I now have very short hair (for me).

Well, it’s very short for me! I love it and I don’t miss my long blond locks anything at all like I expected I would.

2. Frank Bruno returned to boxing this evening and won his fight 3 minutes into the game.

3. Ness rang and she’s great – I’ve sent her a birthday card.

4. I sent Flash a mix tape.

5. BEST THING OF THE DAY: My £4 Complete Madness LP from Oxfam.

It’s excellent. I love the late ‘70s + early ‘80s music scene.’



[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

Tuesday, 19 November 1985

Invitation from Miranda

‘Neon Lights’ – Kraftwerk


Got a letter in the post from BMW (Miranda). In a black envelope! A black invitation to her party, in silver writing, addressed to ‘Ritcherd Winterford’…

Here it is:

MIRANDA + PHOEBE
INVITE
RITCHERD

TO THEIR PARTY

ON: SATURDAY NOVEMBER 30TH
FROM: 7.30 TO 12.00

PLEASE BRING A BOTTLE
R.S.V.P.

OLD DIARY ENTRIES…
This time 8 years ago:‘I watched Doctor Who: Image Of The Fendahl (Part Four).


This time 4 years ago:‘Watched Doctor Who: Carnival Of Monsters (Part Four)…


…This Jon Pertwee story was really great.’

This time 2 years ago:‘I got Return of the Jedi Weekly 23.’



This time last year:‘Today, I skived school, as Mum and George are in Pontefract, but at 4pm-ish I saw Dave cycling by (out of the window) and called him in to discuss things. We sat in the living room and he said Mandy had finished with him, but people were now telling him that she regrets it and wants him back. I rang Mandy and she seemed to feel bad about it. I don’t blame her, but I am worried. I got a tape from my Dad! Hey, wow, man! Frankie Goes To Hollywood, OK! It’s also got Art Of Noise on it.’



[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

Monday, 18 November 1985

Seven Years From Now: 18/11/92

SEVEN YEARS FROM NOW…

My No.1: 'Ideal Homes' - Bill Nelson's Red Noise




Today we did Romeo and Juliet at Wisbech Grammar School (memories of Beatrice Miranda Wasp!).

It was a fantastic performance, too, which was nice on home ground.

We all had a great time and I’m getting on really well with Angus, Kat, Jolene and Dickie. I’m so glad to be working!’


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

Sunday, 17 November 1985

Spadge

‘Bring On The Dancing Horses’ – Echo and the Bunnymen



Bought 2000AD 445.



‘Sex Pistols are fuck!’

Did I ever tell you about the dream I had in which my Mum was a walking, talking skeleton? Or that Flash wears pyjamas?

Spadge = new slang for ‘penis’

Pick ‘n’ Mix:
Porno mags, Jazz (Little man with Big Ears) Thompson,
Siamese cats, Open All Hours, classical music, Jabba (creator of the Enormous Rumble) Abbot, Tchaikovsky, ABC, Sid Vicious, Miriam Stoppard, Wagner, Orville, Clannad, Where There’s Life, Eddie Cochran, Bauhaus, Robin Of Sherwood, Martyn Lewis, Jason Connery, 1984, early Japan, ITN News, knees, Duran Duran, thighs, fart brewing, Return to Oz, scantily clad blondes, Airwolf, The Beatles, Sugar Puffs, Tears For Fears, Fame, orange kimonos, The Tripods, Jean-Michel Jarre, Hong Kong Phooey, The Man from Del Monte, Margaret Thatcher, Howard Jones, Ronald Reagan, skiving off school, David Steel, Kate Bush, Star Trek, Mao Tse Tung, Vitalite...


OLD DIARY ENTRIES...

This time 4 years ago:
‘Watched Doctor Who: Carnival Of Monsters (Part Two)…



…Brilliant.’

This time 2 years ago:
‘Bought some comics:
Marvel Team-Up 137
 

Peter Parker The Spectacular Spider-Man 86 and Marvel Tales 159
 


…Tonight I watched Johnny Jarvis Episode Two (1978-1979)…
 
…there were some brilliant twists and turns. Really loved it.’

This time last year:
‘I ended up going into Wisbech with Dave and Mandy, Stu and Legs. I got
2000AD 392 and this week’s UK Spider-Man Weekly


…I hated seeing Dave and Mandy together, but could only laugh inside. All Dave did was put his arm round her. He went at 3pm anyway, and Stu went at 4pm. Leaving Legs for a while, me an’ Mandy went down Scrimshaw’s Passage and she asked me to kiss her. I did, and she told me she was going to finish with Dave. I can’t stop thinking about her.’


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

Saturday, 16 November 1985

Seven Years From Now: 16/11/92

SEVEN YEARS FROM NOW…

'Furniture Music' - Bill Nelson's Red Noise


I’m heavily into Disney films right now, and today I picked up a 50p charity shop copy of the Jungle Book soundtrack.

Tonight, we played Romeo and Juliet at Sawtry College in Huntingdon at 6.30pm. It was a shit show. We all had sore throats, Jodie was ill and I was dizzy. It was incredibly shit.

Also, I played a very foolish prank on Jonny. I tried to amuse him by gulping some mouthwash and gargling it in front of him, whilst holding aloft a bottle of white spirit. Not twigging the gag, he almost instinctively grabbed the bottle from me and was about to take a swig – meanwhile, I’m choking on the mouthwash in my haste to stop him from poisoning himself - luckily he gobbed it out before it got too far. TRICKY!

No, the show was our shittest and it had to be the night that all our bosses came in to see it!

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

Friday, 15 November 1985

Ten Years From Now: 15/11/95

TEN YEARS FROM NOW…

A fantastic night out with KATE ANGEL. Lots of drink and laughs and brilliant, dirty sex. Incredible!

Here comes the future…



[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

Thursday, 14 November 1985

The Usual Trivia...

My No.1: ‘Road To Nowhere’ Talking Heads


Tonight was the brilliant Happy Families Part Five.

Skill!

OLD DIARY ENTRIES...

This time 6 years ago:

'I got Doctor Who Weekly 6, which was great...


...and watched the brilliant last episode of Quatermass, which made me cry.'


This time 5 years ago:
‘I got Doctor Who Monthly 47.’



This time 4 years ago:
‘I got Doctor Who Monthly 59 (the comic strip was awful)…


Empire Strikes Back Monthly 152 - which was excellent - and Blake’s 7 Monthly issue 2.’



This time 3 years ago:
‘I got Doctor Who Monthly 71 and Star Wars Monthly 164.’



This time last year:
‘I have been giving Dave a hard time. I started a mock betting scheme in school, getting bets on how long (or rather how short) he’ll be with Mandy. I was saying they wouldn’t be together for long, but I believe that their love might be too strong. I’m just being jealous, but Dave didn’t have to keep gloating. Eventually, I decided to leave them to it for a while and apologised to them both for my behaviour.’



[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]