25 Years Too Late...

25 Years Too Late...

Saturday, 31 August 1985

Rambo

'68 Guns' – The Alarm



68 Bums!

We all stayed in bed till late, so when I got up I made the pratts (Mum + Freddie) coffee in bed.

Joey came over and we went into Wisbech, me to meet BMW and he to meet Fiona. Fiona stood Joey up, but he reckons she was ill.

It was good to see BMW. She was dressed in lots of ribbons and bangles in a kind of Madonna way. We kissed and talked and held hands. I enjoyed it.

After BMW went home, Joey showed me his new collection of 20-odd comix!

Tonight, BMW, Joey and I went to see Rambo.

That was absolutely cool and violently freek-out!

BMW and I did a lot of kissing, which was nice. I also put my hand up her skirt and… Well, you can guess the rest. I’d love to have sex with her, but I don’t know how we’ll ever manage that. Where would we do it? Maybe at the derelict house up the road from me. It’s halfway between my house and hers, and she knows it well. We’ll just have to see.

It’s almost like she’s too special just to have sex with. Does that make any sense at all?

Later, drunkards pursued us around town before we returned home.

OLD DIARY ENTRIES…

This time 4 years ago:
‘I got
Marvel Tales 132.’


This time 2 years ago:
‘I bought issue 9 of The Daredevils

…which features a brilliant Captain Britain story by Alan Moore and Alan Davis (‘Waiting For The End Of The World’).’


This time last year:
‘I went to the doctor’s about my spots and I fell in love with a girl in the waiting room called Lisa Nixon. She doesn’t know this.’

[Text Copyright: Elton Townend Jones, 2010 / Images subject to control of Copyright Holder / While based on true life events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the 1980s, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is also non-profit and all video clips are used for illustrative purposes / No copyright infringement is intended.]

Friday, 30 August 1985

Passing O-level English

‘Crazy For You’ – Madonna


Paula (Freddie’s daughter) came to stay – and decided to irritate me. She’s great and I really, really like her, but she kept coming over to the caravan when I just wanted to get on with some reading and drawing.

Freddie went to the doctor’s again. Threatening (in jest) to tell Dr Wasp all about me. I don’t know what I’m supposed to have done, but I wouldn’t put it past Freddie to make something up!
Went down Skating tonight. The usual school gang were there and it was really good. Joey goes out with Fiona Smallbeer now. The girls told me I’ve passed my O-level English (along with Roger Limb, who also took it a year early)! Yo! Granddaddy-o! And I didn’t get drunk or get off with Janet, even though I had the opportunity for both. Good, eh?!!

No?

Fuck off, then!

Yes!

OLD DIARY ENTRIES…

This time 10 years ago:
‘I watched Doctor Who: Terror Of The Zygons (Part One).

[This was in Rossington, Doncaster. I used to sit up close to the TV and watch Doctor Who when I was little – often on my own – but I found this one so scary, that I sat behind my Mum, brushing her hair, thoroughly terrified and utterly thrilled – Ritcherd 1998]

This time 5 years ago:
‘Staying at Grandma Pritchard’s. Saw a new Doctor Who story: The Leisure Hive (Part One)...

...I thought I had the wrong side on when it started. I thought I was watching Buck Rogers...

...The music has changed. I have started drawing a new Doctor Who comic.’

This time 2 years ago:
Doctor Who: Black Orchid is being repeated...

...I got Return of the Jedi issue 12.’


This time last year:
‘I went to Peterborough with Mum and George. I got the brilliant Amazing Spider-Man 257 (it is so good at the moment, even without Romita Jr), Peter Parker/Spectacular Spider-Man 95, Marvel Team-Up 146, New Mutants 20 (beautiful art by Bill Sienkiewicz), Marvel Tales 169...



...But more importantly, I bought some trendy clothes! At last! I talked to George about it, and he gave me some money to buy some white shoes, baggy grey jeans and a black and white check shirt. I am becoming more clothes conscious, and I think this is thanks to having the piss taken out of me by Manda’s friends and my subsequent chats with Willy Redneck. I am trendy at last!’

[Text Copyright: Elton Townend Jones/Dyad Productions, 2010 / Images subject to control of Copyright Holder / While based on true life events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the 1980s, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is also non-profit and all video clips are used for illustrative purposes / No copyright infringement is intended.]

Thursday, 29 August 1985

Doctor Dad

My No.1: ‘Running Up That Hill’ – Kate Bush

Joey came over today.

I still love Propaganda.

Freddie went to the doctor’s – BMW’s dad! Gulp! Yes, my girlfriend’s dad is Freddie’s doctor and there’s nothing Freddie likes more than a good wind-up. I’m doomed!

[Hello, Jez, here! It’s May ’87 now. I’ve lost BMW for good, I suppose. That’s not relevant to you yet, dear reader, so don’t worry! I’m just here to say BMW used to remind me of Nicola Freeman (Gabrielle Drake) on Crossroads.

And Kim Wilde. And Marilyn Monroe. And Halo Jones. But with dark hair. Such sad eyes.]
[Text Copyright: Elton Townend Jones, 2010 / Images subject to control of Copyright Holder / While based on true life events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the 1980s, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is also non-profit and all video clips are used for illustrative purposes / No copyright infringement is intended.]

Wednesday, 28 August 1985

Kindergarten

‘The Word Girl’ – Scritti Politti


Kier and the other members of the kindergarten came over to bore me, so I played them some of Flash’s and my tapes.

‘Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea after all?’

SKETCHES OF ROCK!

I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’VE SHAT ON!

‘DID YOU REALLY?’

‘ONCE LONG AGO, ON A FRESHLY CUT LAWN.’

‘PERHAPS IT IS A CORRUPTIVE!’



[Text Copyright: Elton Townend Jones/Dyad Productions, 2010 / Images subject to control of Copyright Holder / While based on true life events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the 1980s, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is also non-profit and all video clips are used for illustrative purposes / No copyright infringement is intended.]

Tuesday, 27 August 1985

And the Bears!

‘It’s a Mystery’ - Toyah


Itsh a myshtery!

Today has been boring. Full of baths and things.

And the bears!

I’m a bastard!

Japan!


SHIT!

Kier came to my caravan and listened to the tapes I’d done with Flash. I think she fancies me.

OLD DIARY ENTRIES…

This time last year:

‘I got 2000AD 381.’


[Text Copyright: Elton Townend Jones/Dyad Productions, 2010 / Images subject to control of Copyright Holder / While based on true life events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the 1980s, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is also non-profit and all video clips are used for illustrative purposes / No copyright infringement is intended.]

Monday, 26 August 1985

About Blackberry Narrow

‘Puss 'n Boots’ – Adam Ant

I suppose I ought to explain what my new home is like. Blackberry Narrow is a small bungalow (prefab with extensions). It has a kitchen (small), utility area (big and unruly), bathroom (avocado), small courtyard (burgundy), dining room (large), lounge (with french doors) and two bedrooms (one large, one tiny). The utility area is big enough for Freddie to be able to build in another bedroom, which will probably become my room. There is also a nice front garden and a huge compund out the back for parking cars and storing logs for the fire, etc. My caravan is parked here. Also, there is a huge shed/workshop thing full of Freddie's stuff.

Blackberry Narrow is one of about four widely-spaced detached homes (all built in very different periods and in different styles) on a very quiet country lane (virtually a track) between Wisbech St Mary and North Brink (and the river). It is about three miles from Wisbech town centre and about a mile into the village. Over the road is a big dyke, and then vast fields of corn. At either end of the road are orchards. It is very, very quiet. At night you can see millions of stars and lots of low-flying bats. Mist steams up from the dykes and it is very calm and relaxing. If I have made it sound at all pretty, it is not. Not that it's not pretty, it's just that any beauty that might be present is a rugged, desolate kind with a massive, ego-diminishing sky.

Started talking to Kier tonight (our 'next door' neighbour). She is the cousin of Melba Dench (from school). She came over to my caravan and we got on well, even though she’s four years younger than me.

[Yes. We know what you eventually got up to a few months later, don’t we, you pervy sod!? And Flash! And Stan! – Winterfood 88]

OLD DIARY ENTRIES…

This time 2 years ago:
‘I watched The A-Team and I Married a Witch.


This time last year:
‘Mum and I spent the day in Barnes Bysea with Daphne and Giles, before they set off back to Yorkshire. Picked up Return of the Jedi Weekly 62


… and I’m absolutely mad on Frankie Goes To Hollywood!’

[Text Copyright: Elton Townend Jones/Dyad Productions, 2010 / Images subject to control of Copyright Holder / While based on true life events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the 1980s, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is also non-profit and all video clips are used for illustrative purposes / No copyright infringement is intended.]

You can read Elton Townend Jones' review of the new Toby Hadoke comedy show Now I Know My BBC on the Kasterborous Doctor Who site by clicking here.

Sunday, 25 August 1985

From the Future...

[Hello. My name is WINTERFOOD. I am from the future. Nearly 3 years hence to be precise. It is April. But I am not the fabled ‘Jez, April 87’. I am WINTERFOOD, April 88. So. Why am I here? To fill the space in, really. Life is really HACE in 1988. Look out for the time I met lots of “pop” “stars”.]

OLD DIARY ENTRIES…

This time 2 years ago:
‘I got Return of the Jedi Weekly 11.’


This time last year:
‘My last afternoon in Yorkshire. Paul took me out to the Ridings Shopping Centre, and I went comic hunting. I got Marvel Team-Up 145 (okay), Marvel Tales 168 (good), Peter Parker/Spectacular Spider-Man 94 (good), Alpha Flight 14 (good), Uncanny X-Men 185 (very good indeed – great John Romita Jr art) and Amazing Spider-Man 256 (which was just brilliant)...

…Then Daphne and Giles picked me up and brought me back home to West Walton.’

[Text Copyright: Elton Townend Jones/Dyad Productions, 2010 / Images subject to control of Copyright Holder / While based on true life events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the 1980s, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is also non-profit and all video clips are used for illustrative purposes / No copyright infringement is intended.]

Saturday, 24 August 1985

House on the Borderland

‘Obsession’ – Animotion


Went to Peterborough for the afternoon. I went to House On The Borderland and bought issue 1 of the 1970s US Planet Of The Apes magazine

I also got Official Marvel Index to the Amazing Spider-Man Index 1, New Mutants 32 (which wasn’t anywhere near as good as usual), Amazing Spider-Man 269 (good), Marvel Tales 179 & 180 (John Romita art – great!), Uncanny X-Men 198 (utterly brilliant), and Peter Parker/Spectacular Spider-Man 107 (which was a work of emotional genius).



Paul rang from Nostall tonight, just to be a bastard to Mum!

OLD DIARY ENTRIES…

This time last year:
‘I’m still at Paul’s in Nostall. I visited my old friend Sandra Mount and an old girlfriend – my first, in fact – Mandy Wellington – and her sister Paula. I met up with Willy in Wakefield. He’s really mature and trendy and gave me some advice on good clothes. We also went to visit our old friend, Julian Skill whose Mum used to look like Kiki Dee

…I used to fancy her. She was still really nice…

…Got 2000AD 380.’

[Text Copyright: Elton Townend Jones/Dyad Productions, 2010 / Images subject to control of Copyright Holder / While based on true life events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the 1980s, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is also non-profit and all video clips are used for illustrative purposes / No copyright infringement is intended.]

Friday, 23 August 1985

Fingering Janet Joy

'Airwaves' - Kraftwerk


Shame as it is, Make-Up went home to Sussex today. He’s been great company and we’ve got on really well. The best parts have been seeing our girlfriends and sleeping out under the vast sky of infinite stars whilst enjoying some wonderful music.

Went to the skating disco alone tonight. There were loads of people from school there, though, including Cheggers and the gang. Hereward Radio did the disco. I got pissed! Fingered Janet Joy (from school) by the dancefloor. She was wearing a little white mini skirt and kept coming onto me so I'd buy her drinks. We kissed a heck of a lot, too. I don't really fancy her (very skinny, long legs, dark hair, pointy nose, little sharp eyes), but I just couldn't turn down the opportunity of putting my finger in her pants and in her body. It was mine for free, so I took it. She was so wet and I was so hard, and I liked that she didn't expect a relationship out of it. BMW’ll kill me if she finds out!

[See? What an Egotistical Bastard, eh? I regret it – Jez 87]

OLD DIARY ENTRIES…

This time last year:
‘Still in Yorkshire. Following a return to Daphne’s, I went to Paul’s house in Nostall. I saw my old friend, and next-door neighbour Robert ‘Ginner’ Clough, and rang one of my best mates from when I was seven – William Redneck.’

[Text Copyright: Elton Townend Jones/Dyad Productions, 2010 / Images subject to control of Copyright Holder / While based on true life events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the 1980s, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is also non-profit and all video clips are used for illustrative purposes / No copyright infringement is intended.]

Thursday, 22 August 1985

Dream Within a Dream

My No.1: ‘Dream Within A Dream’ – Propaganda


[Hello. It says 22nd August above, but it’s not. It is the future. It is in fact April 1987, and in the future I am no longer simple, shorthaired, casual, Kate Bush-fan Ritcherd Winterfood. In 1987, I am backcombed, spike-haired, Goth/Punk, Alien Sex Fiend-fan Jezebel or Jez...

Yes! You have got a few surprises coming! But I’m here at the mo’ to apologise. My affection for BMW/Miranda isn’t expressed enough in this diary, cos at the time I was an egotistical, uncaring bastard. After a short while, I discovered that I truly loved her. But soon, in the near future of this diary, I shall lose her. I still want her to this day. So. Sorry, BMW!]

OLD DIARY ENTRIES…

This time 6 years ago:
‘I got Star Wars Weekly 78.’


This time 2 years ago:
Doctor Who: Kinda is being repeated. I have been tape-recording it…

…I’m really enjoying it this time around. Janet Fielding is ace.’

This time last year:
‘Still in Yorkshire. Manda rang me at Daphne’s to finish the relationship. I’m extremely depressed about it. It’s the first time a girl’s ever upset me in such a way. Me and Martin babysat for Toyah at Aunty Vi’s this evening, and I walked up and down Manda’s road a lot.’

[Text Copyright: Elton Townend Jones/Dyad Productions, 2010 / Images subject to control of Copyright Holder / While based on true life events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the 1980s, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is also non-profit and all video clips are used for illustrative purposes / No copyright infringement is intended.]

Wednesday, 21 August 1985

Empty!

[Hello, me ‘again’ (see Thursday 25th July). Just here to say that when I was a completely shit 15-year-old, I left tonnes of space in which to posthumously enter diary entries I had neglected and imagined I'd catch up on later. Look…]






EMPTY!





[…a typical entry at this time. Why? Cos I could hardly remember what I was getting up to most of the time. Well, nowadays, I feel HACE, so I’m here to rectify all this by adding POSTHUMOUS comments from the future to any of the blank bits … so there!]

OLD DIARY ENTRIES…

This time last year:
‘Following an afternoon reading books about Old Mother Shipton at Daphne’s, I went to Pontefract Cinema to see Splash with Manda…

…I was intimidated by some of her ‘break-dancing’ friends who were taking the Mickey out of what I was wearing. I’d borrowed my clothes from Daphne’s (Heavy Metal) son, Matt.’

[Text Copyright: Elton Townend Jones/Dyad Productions, 2010 / Images subject to control of Copyright Holder / While based on true life events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the 1980s, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is also non-profit and all video clips are used for illustrative purposes / No copyright infringement is intended.]

Tuesday, 20 August 1985

BMW

‘Wood Beez’ – Scritti Politti


Make-Up and I met Miranda and Sue at Wisbech Library, where I spied Miranda’s library card and saw that it said ‘B.M. Wasp’. She told me that the ‘B’ stood for ‘Beatrice’, but she doesn’t like the name. I told her I did, so I’ve decided to call her ‘BMW.’ Have I told you what she looks like? She’s really attractive, with shortish dark hair and a lovely smile. She has lovely eyes, too.

My top groups at this romantic ‘n’ hectic time of my hazardous life are: Propaganda, Adam Ant, Sid Vicious and Kate Bush.



And I also really like ‘Paisley Park’ by Prince.


OLD DIARY ENTRIES…

This time 2 years ago:
‘I looked at a Marilyn Monroe book in the library. Afterwards I bought two new cards of her…

…Beautiful. I slept at Grandma Pritchard’s.’

This time last year:
‘Still in Yorkshire…

…I had to baby-sit for my little cousin Toyah, so I took her for a walk up to Manda’s in the pushchair, then the three of us spent the afternoon at Pontefract Castle. I’m back at Daphne’s now.’

[Text Copyright: Elton Townend Jones/Dyad Productions, 2010 / Images subject to control of Copyright Holder / While based on true life events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the 1980s, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is also non-profit and all video clips are used for illustrative purposes / No copyright infringement is intended.]

Monday, 19 August 1985

A Wasp Flew By...

‘The Shadow of Love’ – The Damned

This morning, I went back to The King Arthur, with Make-Up, to collect the last of my stuff. By chance, the phone rang – for me! It was Noreen, who wanted to know if Make-Up and I could go to the Cinema to see Police Academy II with her and Miranda. I agreed to her terms, although I’ve no idea how she got my number.

All afternoon, Make-Up and I argued about who’d get Miranda (Noreen’s not as attractive)!



As it happened, I got Miranda – as a girlfriend! We touched, held hands and kissed. We started going out with each other. Miranda and Noreen had brought another girl – Sue Evans. As it happened, Make-Up got off with her! Waste no time, us Yorkshire lads!

Came home on Cloud 9!!!

See ya!!!

OLD DIARY ENTRIES…

This time 2 years ago:
‘The new Doctor Who is going to be Colin Baker who played Maxil in The Arc of Infinity.’


This time last year:
‘Still in Yorkshire. I called for Amanda Jones – Manda – and we got on really well. We kissed and I now go out with her. She invited me to go babysitting for her sister’s kids, so I did.

We necked, listening to ‘Love Is A Wonderful Colour’ by The Icicle Works.’

[Text Copyright: Elton Townend Jones/Dyad Productions, 2010 / Images subject to control of Copyright Holder / While based on true life events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the 1980s, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is also non-profit and all video clips are used for illustrative purposes / No copyright infringement is intended.]