The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Sunday, 5 August 1990

Ummagumma

5pm

‘Helter Skelter’ – The Beatles

Another week of work approaches inexorably.

Well, it’s been a disappointing weekend over all.

Mind you…  Well, I bought a ‘Beatles Live in New York’ video for £2.99.  The fact that it’s actually The Beatles live in Washington DC leaves me unimpressed with the Germans that packaged it.  The quality is poor, but it’s okay.


The bargain of the day is the purchase of another of my recent ‘target’ albums – UMMAGUMMA, the 1969 double album by PINK FLOYD (one studio, one live).  I’ve listened to the studio LP, which is so fresh to me and I’m now going to listen to the live LP.

What happens to Miranda and me now?  The contact is going; slipping away.  I can just tell!




[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘War and Happiness…’

Saturday, 4 August 1990

The Beatles!

2.30pm

‘I’m So Tired’ – The Beatles

My life still doesn’t get any better.

My day began with me drunkenly biking home from Wisbech in the early hours of the morning.  I was in a fit of rage because my chain kept coming off and I ended up covered in oil.  But I biked across North Brink, passing the Wasp’s house.  Well, Miranda’s bedroom light was on.  I saw a figure enter the room and then turn the light out.  I’ve no idea who it was, but I threw stones up at the window and whispered ‘Miranda!’ to no avail.  I am, of course, pissed off.

But…

The Beatles!!!

Later:

7.45pm

‘You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away’ – The Beatles

Well, it’s so good of Miranda to be so generous with her time and consideration, isn’t it?  I’m sure!

Well, I’ve had a great weekend’s fun – MUCH!

I had about two hours in town this afternoon – WOOOH!  FUN + THRILLS!

I’m babysitting for Chip tonite, rather than going out and having more fun!  And then a week’s work!  PISS AND FLAPS!  FOOK AND NOBZ!

The only good things that have happened today are:


CRISIS ish 50
TV ZONE ish 9…

…and a John Lennon LP – The Collection – for £3.50.

Miranda – how could you?!


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘Ummagumma…’

Friday, 3 August 1990

Captain's Log

CAPTAIN’S LOG
STARDATE: AUG 3 90




QUOTE: ‘…has often rebelled against the tyranny of his image, behaving in ways that contradict his perceived identity.’

‘It’s Only Rock ‘n’ Roll’ – The Rolling Stones

HELLO.  I’M RITCHERD JON WINTERFOOD – NICKNAMED ‘JEZ’.

I’m twenty years old.  An out-of-work actor with an interest in writing and theatrical direction.  I need to work in my chosen profession, I really do.

What am I into?
SEX, DRUGS, ROCK ‘N’ ROLL, THE BEATLES, DOCTOR WHO, SOPHIE ALDRED, JAMES BOND, IAN MCSHANE, LOVEJOY, ALL CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL, PSYCHEDELIA, REVOLVER, JIMI HENDRIX, LED ZEPPELIN, THE ROLLING STONES, DANCE MUSIC, THE ‘60S, 2000AD, THE SISTERS OF MERCY, NATURE, THE EARTH, THE SKY, LOVE, JOHN LENNON, YOKO ONO, CRISIS, WIRE, HORROR FILMS, THE GOTHIC IN US ALL, THE LORD OF THE RINGS, TOLKIEN, RELATIONSHIPS, ALIEN SEX FIEND, ENYA, HOBBITS, NOSTALGIA, MONTY PYTHON, BLACKADDER, THE DARK ANGEL, THE RAINBOW, MOONDIAL, THE SITUATION, BERWIN GROOMSTOOL, THE WORLD CUP, HIGHLANDER, EXCALIBUR, LEGENDS, THE SOUP DRAGONS, PRIMAL SCREAM, COMICS, V FOR VENDETTA, WATCHMEN, THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS, THE PRISONER, MARILYN MONROE, SEX, MY CHILDHOOD, THE CHINESE PLAY, MANSFIELD PARK, KATE BUSH, STAR TREK, MY VERSION OF FRANKENSTEIN.

I like making lists.  I eat Sugar Puffs, Shreddies, Cheddaree, Marmite, toast, lasagne, moussaka, and chicken Kiev.  I drink lots of tea and very strong coffee.  When I go for a shit, I fill the ‘pan’ with toilet paper so my bottom doesn’t get splashed by impact water, and I dribble in my sleep.  I like the smell of my pubic regions and I pick my nose a lot.  I collect pornographic magazines and masturbate approximately 3 times a day.

Do you still like me now?

People:
DANYEL ‘FLASH’ GORDON, DONNA DAVIDSON, MARY-JANE FERGUSON, SOPHIE YOUNG, LILITH, AMY NEAT, JO JORDAN, STAN FLOWERS, WILLIAM DANIELS, LEGS, EMMA GODDARD, JONNY BADCOCK, PETER CONTI, GEORGE BAKER, BETTY BAKER, ASH, ELLIOTT ‘ELBOW’ BARLOW, ASTRA TRELLIS, SPOCK, THE COMMANDER, LOUISE MOORHOUSE, KEVIN MOORHOUSE, MANDA JONES, NATALIA WNEK, DARREN MARSH, UNA BAKER, EDDIE MOSES, GEMMA WINCHESTER, JON WINTERFOOD, ANNIE WINTERFOOD, DANNY LEES, LINDA LEES, JENNY, MAGGIE, MINTY, and many more.

Later:

6.40pm

‘Instant Karma’ – John Lennon

Well.  Today begins with the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait, which doesn’t bode too well.  But as I can’t do anything about that at the moment, I’ll move on…

Miranda should have rung me about an hour and forty minutes ago.  And she hasn’t yet.  I hope she doesn’t let me down.  She is my light; an oasis in all this oblivion.  I want to go out with her tonight, to a pub; to her place too if her parents are away.  Possibly even a visit to that old graveyard we always used to visit.

I have money now: £235.  I feel better.

Later:

‘Mother Nature’s Son’ – The Beatles

Just spoke to Betty and offered her some ‘board money’.  She very kindly declined the offer, saying, ‘You don’t have to pay us any rent if you’re working for Freddie.’

Excellent.  And exceptionally fair, given the poor hourly rate.

Later:

7.45pm

‘Give Peace a Chance’ – John Lennon

Can you dig this?!

I just rang Miranda’s parents’ house and peril of all perils, her mum answered.  Saying Miranda wasn’t there!  Isn’t Miranda arriving today, I asked.  No, and who was I?  Ritcherd, I told her.  Cold, silent pause.  She’s not here, Ritcherd, goodbye.  Damn!  Weren’t the Wasps meant to be going on holiday?  Where’s Miranda?  Why, life?  Fucking why?  Is Miranda okay?!

Later:

7.49pm

‘Hey Joe’ – Jimi Hendrix

Just rang Portsmouth. ‘Miranda has gone home to pick up her car’.  Well, there y’go.  I don’t think I’ll be seeing Miranda tonite then.  I was worried.  Fuck, I shouldn’t have rung her parents’ home.  I wonder…  Could she be messing me about?  I’ll have to stay in now and await any ‘phone calls.  Oh my god.  She’ll probably fall out with me now she knows I’ve spoken to her bloody mad mother.  Well, that’s not my problem.

Later:

My life doesn’t get any better.

Miranda didn’t ring me.  So I went out at about 9pm to The Angel.  On the way, I saw Mooney and Danny, and in the pub I saw Legs, Ash and Ange.  Needless to say, I became extremely inebriated and later we all went to the park which was a bit naff, but I had good chats with Mary Wallis, though Alice bugged me quite a bit.


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘The Beatles!’

Thursday, 2 August 1990

It's Only Rock 'n' Roll

LATER THAN NOW

Getting on with it.

Almost up to 100 degrees out there now.

IT’S ONLY ROCK ‘N’ ROLL

Peter Conti rang today and he was great.  He was very supportive of me and urged me on past the depression and onward into success.  He says that in a recent discussion with Harriet Burleigh, they both agreed that if anyone in the Drama Department deserves recognition and success – perhaps even ‘fame’ – then it’s me.  Peter even said to me: ‘You were the best in the whole department; the biggest talent.’  And for all that I show the world a cocky exterior sometimes, I was so touched and very humbled by those kin words.  So grateful, too.  I shall treasure his faith in me and do all I can to not let my peers down.  One day, eh?

My No.1: ‘You Never Give Me Your Money’ by The Beatles

Miranda rang.  Here it is.  The conversation.  It rang for a while before I got out of the bath to speak.

R: Sorry about that.  The delay.  I was in the bath.
M: Oh.
R: Hello.  How are you?
M: I’m in the launderette.
R: Oh.  The launderette, eh?
M: Yes.
R: Is it fun?
M: No.
R: Well…
M: What are you doing tomorrow?
R: Why?  What time do you arrive?
M: About twelve.
R: Oh!  I’ll be working at that time, probably!
M: Oh, you’re working now, then?
R: Yes.  Erm.  What have you got planned?
M: Nothing, I don’t suppose.
R: When do you go back?
M: Saturday.
R: What time?
M: Early, I expect.
R: Oh, I see.  Well.  I’m not doing anything tomorrow night.  Are you?
M: I don’t suppose so.
R: What would you suggest then?
M: I suppose I could ring you tomorrow.
R: Okay.  About 5pm.  I’ll be in then.  Is that okay?
M: Yes.
R: So how is life in the launderette?
M: Noisy.  There are lots of people.
R: Yes.  I can hear them.
M: Oh.  I’ve just run out of money.
R: Oh.  Okay, I’ll hear from you tomorrow night then.
M: Yes.
R: Bye.
M; Goodbye.

It felt really forced.  A horrible phone call.  It felt like it destroyed a magic.

My life: soundtrack available at all good record shops.  But not yet.


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘Captain’s Log…’

Wednesday, 1 August 1990

Miranda Plans

AUGUST

LIFE’S A GAS. 
No, it is, honest.

consequences


‘Revolution 9’ – The Beatles

About 87 degrees or something diabolical.  Not what you want when you’re loading lorries by hand with no shade and the ground swirls its oily dust into the air about you.  Next year, if anyone says to me ‘Didn’t we have lovely weather last July?’ I shall say ‘No.  We did not.’  To agree that this weather is ‘lovely’ would be very hypocritical of me.  I want some cloud and a breeze.  That’s all I ask.

No jobs in today’s local paper.  Fuck.

But from Miranda, I have something to make me happy…

She wrote me a letter on Sunday.  She calls me ‘dearest Ritcherd’ again, and thanks me for my letter which reached her at 7am on Saturday.  She says 7am is a most ungodly hour, but she was up because the night before they’d all had a barbecue and it was still going on!  She read it but it didn’t make any sense (less than usual, in fact) because she was ‘extremely stoned’.  She says the barbecue was full of IBM people but actually turned out to be fun.  As she writes, she’s listening to Scritti Politti and feeling nostalgic.  This was because she’d had Radio 1 on at work and they’d played all the number ones of 1984 which left her feeling melancholic.  Her Saturday night at work was awful because the restaurant owners are skateboarding fans and they invited all the competitors of a big competition to dine there (about 200 people crammed into 50 person capacity!).  She never wants to see a skateboard again.

She attempts to recall our ‘big sex scene’ from last year as she likens my life to that of a novel, noting how decadent our generation is.  She notes that 100 years ago she probably wouldn’t even have known what alcohol was, never mind the dope she’s been smoking.

She asks about my employment situation, noting that she needs more work herself.  Her waitressing job only really pays for the rent.

She says we should continue writing and getting to know each other again, then build up to a phone conversation.

At this point, she’s listening to ‘Purple Rain’ by Prince, which makes her even more sad and nostalgic: ‘it seems so long ago since I was fifteen’.  She says she’s been trying to remember what film we saw when we went on our first date.

I asked her for a photograph in my last letter.  She says she doesn’t want to send me one because she has no recent ones and also because she recently cut her hair extremely short just to spite Mark who was being a bastard and loves long hair.  She regrets it and feels stupid that she did that to herself just to annoy someone.  She hates it at the moment (too long to use gel and too short to tie up or backcomb).  She asks me what my hair’s like and if it’s still short (like last summer).  She also asks if I still dress in a goth way.  She says it’s so damned hot she’s living in shorts and vests, but hopes to get the velvet and lace out again when winter comes.

She says she’d like to see me this weekend when she comes up to Wisbech to borrow her mum’s car.  She suggests we have lunch on Saturday.  Her friend Becky might be coming with her, though.

She then asks me to write back soon and signs off with lots of love and three kisses.

She adds a postscript on Tuesday saying she’s enclosed a photo of herself.  She says it’s pretty awful.  She also says that Becky isn’t coming up to Wisbech with her so maybe we will meet.  She says she’ll give me a ring.

Then follows another postscript in which she decides not to enclose the photo as it’s gross.

Shame about the photograph, Miranda.  I’m glad Becky’s not coming, but I hope we can meet for more than just lunch. 

I love you, you know, Miranda.  Ring me soon.

Later:

‘Birthday’ – The Beatles

Well, Lilith rang tonight.  She loves me, misses me and wants to see me.  It was a bloody good conversation for a change, too.


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘It’s Only Rock ‘n’ Roll…’

Tuesday, 31 July 1990

Who Remains?

VERY EARLY AM

I’m at my Mum’s.

Even as I write this, in the darkness, Freddie is suffering what could well turn into another heart attack.  I haven’t been feeling too close to him lately and we rarely see eye to eye, but I hope he pulls through and gets well – and VERY soon.  It really is not nice to see this kind of thing happening to him (or, indeed, anyone).  He doesn’t deserve this agony and he doesn’t deserve an untimely death.  If there’s anyone out there that answers the prayers of someone who believes prayers go unheard, then please keep him safe.  I wouldn’t wish this, I wouldn’t wish death, upon anyone.  And spare a thought for Betty, who loves him dearly despite their recent differences, but most of all spare a thought for little baby Chip, who truly loves and needs his daddy.

I pray for your deliverance, Freddie.

Later:

LATE

EPILOGUE

‘Sun King/Mean Mr Mustard/Polythene Pam/She Came In Through the Bathroom Window’ – The Beatles

Work was shite. 

I also rang two factories to find out if they had any jobs going.  Nothing.  Typical.  Can’t even get my nightmare job.  Pretty sure I’d be rubbish in a factory, though.

OK, just stay calm, Ritcherd.  Save up your money and then you can work out how to go about seeking your fortune.  Like The Beatles did.  They had to do all the ordinary stuff first, and then when they’d done all that they found a way of doing whatever they wanted.  I’m telling myself this simply because if I don’t then I’m going to fall into the pit again…

I rang Larry Goodgirl for help and he told me I should send my CV to his theatre and apply for the Assistant Stage Manager job.  I have applied now, but given my sheer lack of experience in that area of theatre I doubt I’ll get it.  Honestly?  They’d be stupid to give me the job.

Flash rang and I love hearing from him.  I hope life is happier for him at the moment.  Well, it seems to be anyway.

I’m going to bed.  I’ve to be up for a pile of shit tomorrow, so I’ll probably have a cry whilst I’m in bed. 

It makes me sick.

I’m reconsidering my options regarding the possibility of going to university now, too.

Well, July is obviously reaching its end now, isn’t it?  Yes, I think so.  On a suicidal note, it seems.  Goodbye, July.  I wish it could have been sweeter.  August approaches.  I hope it brings hope.

Farewell for now,
Ritcherd xxx

[AND THAT’S HOW JULY 1990 ENDED, FOLKS!  WHAT IS HAPPENING TO RITCHERD?  IS HE REALLY LOSING CONTROL?  IN 1995 HE WILL TOTALLY LOSE IT.  HE WILL ALSO GO THROUGH MORE CHANGE.  BUT REST ASSURED, THE FUTURE WILL BE BRIGHT (THOUGH OFTEN BLEAK) WITH LOTS OF STUFF GOING ON.  I KNOW THIS BECAUSE I WRITE TO YOU FROM 1995.  WHO REMAINS FIVE YEARS FROM NOW?  FLASH, LILITH, FERGIE, MAGGIE, ELBOW AND STAN.  ANYWAY.  READ ON.

Ritcherd
ODEON CINEMA, ST ALBANS
18/AUG/1995]


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘Miranda plans…’